Hayden Panettiere Is a Killer
In more midget news today, “Heroes” star Hayden Panettiere threatened to kill a reporter while on the red carpet at the Emmy’s for claiming she and her boyfriend of a year had broken up. A grown-up, regular sized reporter. Ahem. According to TV Guide
Hayden Panettiere threatened to “kill” a staffer from Us Weekly over something she wrote about her in a recent issue. Just when it looked like Hayden was about to pull a Sylar on said reporter’s skull, her quick-thinking publicist grabbed her and scolded, “Not on the red carpet.” It was a classic Hollywood moment — and one I predict will be streaming all over the Internet by week’s end.
Well, first of all, I blame you for watching stuff like “The Hills” and “Heroes” and “High School Musical” in the first place. It’s your fault these stupid teenage twats think they’re somebody important. Really, if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t even know who Hayden Panettiere is. I’d just figure she was one of Jerry Lewis’ Downs Syndrome kids and have left her the hell alone, because it isn’t nice to make fun of retards and I’m a nice girl. But now I don’t even have to google her to spell her name correctly anymore. I’m not sure which is a sadder commentary on my life — that I know how to spell Hayden’s last name or that I fell three stories of a balcony this morning and I wasn’t even trying to kill myself. Not yet, anyway. One more Hayden Panettiere or Heidi Montag story and you guys just might get your wish. Heartless bastards.
More of Stubby in some hot pants yesterday after the jump
8 Comments, Comment or Ping
BarbadoSlim
Heh, Pantystench’s cakehole is writing checks that her body can’t possibly cash.
Sep 20th, 2007
abby
I dunno, maybe the reporter was a blind paraplegic.
Sep 20th, 2007
Dragulf
Girl is looking fine, as usual. Heroes is nothing like those other POS shows you mentioned Abby. Their characters actually die….
Sep 20th, 2007
abby
Good. That’s a good direction for her. I personally don’t watch anything other than “The Office” or “Golden Girls” reruns.
Sep 20th, 2007
Vermillion
I wouldn’t be so fast to underestimate her, Slim. You know how slippery folks of her stature can get once they get to moving around. I bet she can climb all over you like a howler monkey and beat you with her tiny shoes.
Of course, I still want the sit ‘n’ spin from her. Oh yes.
Sep 20th, 2007
Otto the Short Yellow Bus Driver
Kill the cheerleader and save our favorite Mistress of Blogging.
Sep 20th, 2007
candida
Stumpy McTroll, worst than Eva LaWhoria’s nuptials.
Sep 21st, 2007
Malachi
I’m confused. Whats wrong with Hayden Panettiere? She’s gorgeous, not even the slightest bit stumpy, and has done nothing to make people judge her as similar to all the other young actresses who had breakdowns. I don’t know who wrote this, but if it was a girl chances are she’s just jealous of Hayden’s looking perfect, and if its a guy, he’s just fucked up for doing anything other than praising her.
Jan 9th, 2008
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