Paula Abdul Wants Babies
Tags: Paula Abdul
Since we’re already on the topic of lunatic mothers, let’s switch now to another “frequent and habitual user of drugs” — “American Idol” disaster Paula Abdul. According to USA Today
Paula Abdul is ready for a baby of her own. “That’s the next step in my life,” says Abdul, 45. “Definitely within the next two years. I thought by now I’d have three grown children.” She says she plans to explore fertility options. “With modern medicine, people are having kids in their 40s and even up until their late 40s,” she says. “In their 50s, they’re having their second child. If it doesn’t happen naturally like that, I would always consider adopting.”
If there’s one thing a pile of incoherent blubbering crazy needs, it’s a baby. Also a .45. And a pilot’s license and a bottle of whiskey. The driver’s seat of a commuter train. Their own reality show. Access to nuclear weapons. A bullhorn. I hope you’re writing these down. It’s going to save you a lot of time when you have to go shopping for shower gifts.
6 Comments, Comment or Ping
Dragulf
Easy Peasy Paula. Slop some peanut butter on yer cooch and let go of the dog… You’ll be pregnant in no time!
Oct 2nd, 2007
open mouth jones
Oh sweet baby jesus. Four words to scare any sane person into hiding. Imagine more of them running around, ‘gifting’ the population with their presence.
I’m going back into hiding now, thanks very much.
Oct 2nd, 2007
kdawg
Oh yeah, having kids in your 50s, that’s fun. So when little Nicholas graduates from high school, you’ll be sitting there in your afghan with your blue hair, popping your dentures in and out of place, your gnarled feet quivering in your orthopedic shoes with excitement (or Parkinsons) and your LifeAlert monitor on stand-by, just in case.
She’d be the only mother who would be forced to make a tough decision every time a PTA meeting fell on her regular Bingo night.
Oct 2nd, 2007
scarpetta
She will have blessed little babies and wheel the little rugrats right into surgery so they can look as natural as their mommy.
Then they can spend the rest of their little lives having meltdowns over their pablum.
How sweet and the world will be a better place
Oct 2nd, 2007
RichPort
Good God! I thought that said Paula Addul wants rabies…
Oct 3rd, 2007
Ethan Meadow
Everyone her a comedian? Hey if the lady wants babies she should have them. Go for it Paula. BTW loved your story in Chicken Soup for the American Idol Soul. What about writing your memoirs? Loved to hear more about her life.
Dec 15th, 2007
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