Oct 4, 2007

Jessica Simpson is Colonial Hot

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You know what’s hot? Early 18th century attire. Velour early 18th century attire. Oh, and lock jaw. Jessica Simpson looks like some kind of prostitute Ben Franklin with a case of tetanus. Better check your pants, boys! Visible erections can be considered sexual harassment in certain work places. But not in this work place! Woo-hoo! Yeeeah! I’m pointing at my pants, in case you couldn’t tell. Yeah. Well, it’d be funnier if you could actually see it. Okay, then. Fuck you.

More of founding father Jess after the jump

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7 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. RichPortNo Gravatar

    Is she morphing into Jenna Jameson, or does sucking massive amounts of cock just do that to a woman’s face?

    Oct 4th, 2007

  2. scarpettaNo Gravatar

    Too much Chicken of the Sea

    Oct 4th, 2007

  3. open mouth jonesNo Gravatar

    First my shower curtain runs away to Brit, and now my favorite ‘I-have-a-cold-and-am-producing-enough-snot-to-drown-a-small-nation-and-hate-everybody’ nightie runs to Jessica Simpson.
    See, you can see my snot stains on her chest in the pic second from the bottom.

    Oct 4th, 2007

  4. DragulfNo Gravatar

    Her red knees are further proof she just finished off her dad.

    I like how in the first picture the look on the guys face (on the right) is like ‘WTF is THAT?’ and the girl (on the left) is saying ‘Tranny?’

    Oct 4th, 2007

  5. sydNo Gravatar

    I never noticed before, but she looks a little knock-kneed.

    Oct 4th, 2007

  6. abbyNo Gravatar

    And plastic-surgeried. Something’s not right with her face.

    Oct 4th, 2007

  7. Otto the Short Yellow Bus DriverNo Gravatar

    Colonial hot… not… more like colonscopy hot.

    Oct 5th, 2007

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