Britney Spears was supposed to show up in court today to ask for expanded visitation rights for her children. Except she didn’t. According to TMZ

Britney Spears promised her lawyers she would appear in court today [to ask] the judge to [grant] overnight visits with her kids. K-Fed’s lawyer is in court right now. Brit’s lawyers are en route. [However,] Britney’s in Marina Del Rey and it’s pretty clear either her alarm didn’t go off or she just had a change of heart.

Well, eight-thirty in the morning is pretty early. Pret-ty fuckin’ early. Is the sun even up then? I didn’t think so. Besides, maybe she just drove past a Starbucks on the way to court. You can’t really expect a person to ignore the call of a 4,000 calorie frappucino. And shirts don’t exactly stain themselves, you know. Besides, there might have been a big pile of douchebags and crates of economy-size Crisco left on the side of the interstate this morning. Did you ever stop and think of that? No. You didn’t. You shouldn’t hate the player, folks. You hate the game. What game? Um… Pick Up Sticks. That game really sucks donkey. Everybody knows Tiddleywinks is where it’s at. Play on, playa!

UPDATE: She made it, five hours late! Boo-yah, haters!

More of Britney buying perfume that isn’t her own after the jump

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