Heidi Montag is a Hack
Tags: Heidi Montag
Reality “star” Heidi Montag wants you to know that the post that went up on her blog on Monday claiming responsibility for spreading sex tape rumors about Lauren Conrad was actually the product of some malcontent internet hacker masquerading as herself. Yes. She thinks you actually read her fucking blog. Mother of God. According to People magazine
As of Tuesday, a new message was posted on Montag’s Web site that read: “Just wanted everyone to know that my blog got hacked last night and the hacker(s) posted up FAKE blog post about me admitting to spreading the rumors about the [co-star Lauren Conrad's] sex tape.” As for finding the culprit behind the posting, [boyfriend Spencer] Pratt seemed ready to bring out the big guns, “Right now they’re trying to track down whose IP [address] it was. We got Jack Bauer on it,” he cracked.
Wince. Did Spencer follow that up with a “Wakka wakka wakka?” and squirt anyone with a plastic boutonnière? Once again, my communal sense of shame has somehow trumped my impotent rage. Like when Ashlee Simpson did that agonizingly horrible I’m-not-lipsycing-hoedown dance on SNL. I wanted to laugh at her humiliation, but my stomach hurt too much to really enjoy it. Because, like George Costanza before me, I can sense the slightest human suffering. And I inevitably internalize it as my own. That’s what all the blind kids down at the orphanage keep telling me, anyway. Just too much heart. Or something with “fart.” I can’t remember. Those sightless bastards swear they can tell when I’ve had fried plantains and eggplant casserole for lunch. It’s easy to see why nobody likes them. Kinda like Spencer Pratt, only with more Braille and crashing into things.
9 Comments, Comment or Ping
scarpetta
vapid vacant barbies gone bad
Oct 17th, 2007
spatz
wow i just got major douche chills from looking at these two. disgusting.
Oct 17th, 2007
sonya
So, she likes the taco? Extra sour cream?
Oct 17th, 2007
abby
I figured she’d be more of a soft burrito kinda girl. It seems like it’d be easier to puke up than hard taco shell bits.
Oct 17th, 2007
overrated whores r bores
who the fuck is she or he?
Oct 17th, 2007
katsy
what a dumbass.
if her password was *really* that easy to decipher, then she’s even more RETARDED than i thought.
and i hate effing Taco Bell.
fuck you Spencer. i hate you too.
Oct 17th, 2007
Otto the Short Yellow Bus Driver
Ding, ding ding… sounds like the 15-miniutes of self-promotional shame is up– btw, Brit-Brit wants her tacos back.
Oct 18th, 2007
Gweilo
These people certainly know how to dress for dinner.
Oct 18th, 2007
fido dido
I swear, the human population would be better off without those two lame ass, sell out fuckers. I hate them sooooo much, I wish I was the hacker and big bad Spencer would come for me! Fuckin pussy
Jul 14th, 2008
Reply to “Heidi Montag is a Hack”