Lindsay Lohan is a Man-Stealer

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Lindsay Lohan never let a little thing like “being betrothed to the heart of another” interfere with an opportunity for her to get a little dick. The NY Daily News reveals

Pals say the recovering actress is smitten with her new beau, 25-year-old snowboarder Riley Giles. But so was the girl he was engaged to! And poor Bree Tierney of Murray, Utah, found out he’d moved on from the tabloids. “Riley just stopped calling Bree and never told her about Lindsay,” her mom, Tess, told Us Weekly. “She found out by seeing photos. It destroyed her.”

I supposed the singed pubic hair and the charcoal briquette-like remains of his ball sack would have tipped her off anyway. You can’t expect to take a dip into Lindsay Lohan without some visible damage to your man area. Just like you wouldn’t work your wiener over a cheese grater or pump it full of nails with a roofing gun and not expect a little bruising and tenderness. It’s just common sense.

More candids of Lindsay wandering around L.A. all day after the jump

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9 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. A burned ballack and a plethora of exotic venereal diseases lie in store for those who venture inside Lindsay’s vagina of torment.

  2. Also an indelible fish stink.

  3. I hear ya Slim, I even wear a condom when I masturbate to her pictu… damn, I’ve said too much…

  4. Yet another idiot douchebag but this time it’s wearing sunglasses in the day and NOT at night. This is really confusing. Someone ought to check the fabric of space and time, the moths may have been at it.

  5. AceNo Gravatar

    Can I note the death grip she has on that bottle of vitamin water? Shit’s good, but it’s not that good. Also, I guess Lindsay’s truly is a homewrecker. God forbid that she should go out with someone who isn’t married and/or totally sleazy.

  6. That’s NOT vitamin water in that bottle…

  7. alcohol is a vitamin. Or was it a mineral?
    All I know is that shit’s GREAT for you.

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