Britney Spears Likes Cookies, Parties
Tags: Britney Spears
There’s no better way to celebrate skating on eight of your fourteen court-ordered drug tests like a men’s magazine video game launch party to which you’re not invited. Just ask Britney Spears! But Brit never made it to the Maxim-hosted fête Friday night. According to OK! Magazine
Despite the fact that she wasn’t on the invite list, “Brit started saying that Maxim had always been so good to her in the past and she didn’t want to miss anything fun.” Well, that’s when she was informed that not only had she not made the cut of the magazine’s “Hot 100″ list, [but that] the new issue of Maxim actually labeled her one the five most “unsexy” women on the planet.
As one can imagine, Brit didn’t take this news well. “She started to pout and her eyes were filling up with tears. She had no idea there was such a thing as an Unsexy list and it came as a pretty big shock. [But] we didn’t want her to get inside Opera and have people coming up to her or telling her she was a part of that list,” explains the friend. “It would have been really bad if she had had a breakdown inside the club in front of everyone.” Says the friend, “Brit’s been talking about demanding an apology from Maxim.”
How do you combat the shame that accompanies being labeled “unsexy?” Why, cookies, of course! A couple in the consul of the car, a few in your pockets, maybe some stuck in your weave for emergencies. I also recommend lots of beer and laying down and sex with the drunk guy you met in the parking lot of McDonald’s. He thinks you’re sexy! Sure, he was throwing up under a lamp post fifteen minutes earlier and it’s obvious from the ladies’ sun hat and pleated skirt that he’s still pledging, but that just means he’s college-educated. And you know what that means! He can use your lack of higher education as a weapon when you fight later about his drinking problem. Marriage material? You bet! I’m going to have a couple of cookies and lie down now.
13 Comments, Comment or Ping
BarbadoSlim
I wish life were a videogame just so I could rail her ass…. Quake 2 style.
Nov 9th, 2007
RichPort
Same… fucking… boots…
Nov 9th, 2007
open mouth jones
Home girl needs a full overhaul. and a deal with proactiv.
Nov 9th, 2007
BarbadoSlim
Them boots have GOT. TO. STINK. there is no fucking way around that.
Nov 9th, 2007
abby
Same goes for her ass crack. Stin-key.
Nov 9th, 2007
Italian Stallion
Maybe NOW she’ll realize what an ugly fucking douchebag she is and go back to being whack off material. Not that I ever did. Nevermind, she’ll always be Fatty Mcfat to me now……….
Nov 9th, 2007
open mouth jones
It’s actually Lardy McCurdass, but I guess that is neither here nor there.
Nov 9th, 2007
agita
I thought it was Holly McHamhocks, but okay.
Nov 9th, 2007
Italian Stallion
LOL @ the two above me……….
Nov 9th, 2007
Alison
well, if nothing else, at least she somewhat coordinated in these pictures. for once she doesn’t look like she played dress-up with her mom’s clothes in the dark and forgot to look in the mirror and change before she left the house.
Nov 12th, 2007
Whatthe?!?
Actually….she is Filthy McNasty. Her weave looks like it might crawl off her head and bite somebody. Those brown, skanky boots have no damn excuse. She doesn’t even look like she washes her a**; they said she got off the phone during a radio interview right in the middle to take a shower. I don’t believe it- she probably had to lower the flame and stir the pot full of meth she was cooking up.
Nov 12th, 2007
F.
Ooonnn! c’mon Barbado Slim, didn’t you have a favourite pair of boots when you’re 5? Well, she does like them, like she was (was?) five.
And also enjoy eating and puking and crying and taking pills, and snorting, and drinking… wooow? isn’t that’s why she’s got craaaazy?
Nov 12th, 2007
Just Me
Of course she like party! What did you expect? http://www.spymac.com/details?2295014
Nov 12th, 2007
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