Paris Hilton Is Afflicted
Tags: Paris Hilton
Girls, this is what your mother was trying to warn you about when she gave you “the talk” back in middle school: the dreaded “Dick-Sucking Lips” you see on Paris Hilton right here. “Cock-Holster Mouth,” as it’s more commonly referred to in the medical profession, results from years spent on the knees and affects nearly three out of every ten Hollywood starlets today. Race and socio-economic status appear to be a factor, with nearly eighty percent of all CHM victims being wealthy blond Caucasians. Intelligence may also play a part, with the average CHMer having the collective IQ of a bowl of field mice1. Doctors2 say the best way to avoid such an unsightly malady is to stop being such a dirty fucking dick-swallowing slut. They also recommend the application of cortisone and parent-dictated euthanasia if the problem persists.
1The field mice of course having been pumped full of poison and forced to watch “The Simple Life” for three days straight, where several of the mice began eating their own tails and two of the mice repeatedly bashed their craniums against the inside of the bowl until rendered unconscious before actual testing began.
2Dr. Abby
Paris Hilton at the Ariva Gum Launch at the Crimson Club:
13 Comments, Comment or Ping
Q
Looks like she might have created a new strain of STDs
Dec 3rd, 2007
p0nk
When attempting that Angelina Jolie dick-sucking lips look, it’s a tough decision to make… Herpes-Collagen, Collagen-Herpes. For Paris, the herpes is more natural looking.
Dec 3rd, 2007
Italian Stallion
Can you imagine what her other lips look like? I just did and threw the fuck up…….
Dec 3rd, 2007
RichPort
I bet her other lips taste like regret and burn like the surface of the sun.
Dec 3rd, 2007
p0nk
…and look like Chuck Liddel on a drunken chainsaw bender.
Dec 3rd, 2007
Italian Stallion
sleeve of wizard?
Dec 3rd, 2007
p0nk
sleeve of wizard who has been sleeping under a bridge for the last 20 years.
Dec 3rd, 2007
RichPort
I bet she has a clit the size of a tangerine.
Dec 3rd, 2007
abby
I heard that Greek dude used to refer to it as “the sleeping elephant.” True fucking story.
Dec 3rd, 2007
RichPort
If that’s true Abby, that elephant has a runny nose.
Dec 3rd, 2007
Dragulf
Nasty. I can see why Brit-Brit hangs out with her now. Brit-Brit doesn’t seem as bad then.
Dec 3rd, 2007
agita
It’s just a black hole with no return…beware
Dec 4th, 2007
open mouth jones
I wouldn’t let even let the boss who fired me park his airplane in that hangar.
Dec 4th, 2007
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