Tara Reid is a Monster

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The Daily Mail has pictures of Tara Reid poolside at the Palazzo Versace Hotel in Australia yesterday, and Christ Almighty are they terrifying. And that belly chain with the plastic beads she’s wearing? That’s a scar and a couple of bolts holding her disgusting frame together.

The American Pie star has a large scar around her entire waist and five screw-like pins bolted into her body. She has been also been left with a rippled and sagging stomach after [botched liposuction].

She looks like some kind of slutty Frankenstein brought to life. Like an evil scientist stitched together a couple of out-of-work porn stars and low-rent hookers and then set them on fire. Only she escaped his lair before he was finished and headed for the Australian coast to get tag-teamed and ejaculated on while a production crew films it. “Skank-enstein — the Erotic Tale of a Whore Brought to Life,” coming soon to an adult theater near you.


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10 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. iheartlasagne

    We’ve been discussing this at Celebitchy.com, and I think we’ve decided that this is some sort of lame body jewelery. In pic #4, there are beads spread all over the table, like she’s making jewelery. I think it’s hilarious that we all actually thought it was possible there for a minute, and that Tara Reid would be sporting a bikini while having ‘bolts’ in her abdomen.

  2. p0nk

    They apparently need to put warning labels on Bedazzlers.

  3. abby

    Curious, I initially thought the same thing about the body jewelery, but a British newspaper said they were bolts. You can’t argue with a news source that boasts a British accent. It’s the most reputable of all accents. It’s the equivalent of having five degrees in reliability.

  4. SUPES

    Bolts or no bolts, her stomach still looks like putty, and she should definitely not be drawing attention to it with jewelery.

  5. Italian Stallion

    What the fuck happened to this chick? I’ll never be able to watch American Pie the same again……..

  6. Italian Stallion

    I was just thinking after my comment. No, I didn’t hurt myself, but that’s one American Pie not even an Ethiopian would eat……….

  7. agita

    What the heck is she checking herself for… Rust?

  8. p0nk

    lmfao stallion

  9. bionic bunny

    paging dr. adams….

    ummmm. as far as i know, there’s nothing there to attach bolts to, is there? unless they go all they way through. i mean, i have bolts there, but they are INSIDE and on my spine. weird. blech.

  10. Sorceressss

    Quick someone shoot it before it eats our children!!!!

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