Britney to Wed a Third Time

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Britney Spears continues careening down the highway to hell her chosen path with rumors of an impending marriage to Osama Lufti. According to MSNBC

This time she wants to hitch her wagon to professional hanger-on Sam Lutfi. In fact… Britney already announced her marital ambitions to her lawyers and ex-hubby, Kevin Federline. “[The lawyers] begged her to at least get a prenup, but she didn’t seem to be listening, and Kevin has forbidden Britney from having Sam around the boys [and] has threatened to get a restraining order. She’ll lose custody if she allows Sam around them, Kevin will make sure of it.”

But will the danger of losing her kids be enough to keep Brit from heading down the aisle a third time? … Unlikely. “Britney is completely under Sam’s spell. Everyone sees through him, except her. I hear that he stays with her most of the time, and she pays for his food, his bar and restaurant tabs and his clothing. She takes car of everything.”

Sam Lufti is like the poor man’s Kevin Federline, and Kevin Federline is already the poor man’s Rico Suave, so figuring it all out gets a little complicated. Basically, if Rico Suave took a dump in a box and slapped a goatee and sideburns on it, you’d be left with Sam Lufti. And if you scraped the cheese off Rico Suave’s dick and mixed in a little Cool Water cologne, you’d get Kevin Federline. Mix the both of them together and you get cauliflower ear and burning when you pee. I don’t recommend it.

Britney gas stationing it up over the weekend:

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8 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. She likes gasoline fumes?

  2. Doc

    I think she’s going for Liz Taylor’s number of times “married.”

  3. Doc

    FUTURE HEADLINE

    Two minutes after her marriage she found out she was pregnant, and5 minutes later she filled the divorce papers.

  4. p0nk

    has nobody told her that Rick Solomon is single again?!

  5. RichPort

    Excellent. With any luck, someone will load her onto her own private 767 and slam her into a building… in Riyadh.

  6. abby

    Well-played, p0nk.

  7. spatz

    well RichPort, she is marrying someone named Osama, so you never know. Fingers Crossed!

  8. agita

    Maybe she’d look better in a burkha

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