Paula Abdul Still Batshit Insane
Tags: meltdown, Paula Abdul, screaming
Paula Abdul experienced another one of her infamous drug-free meltdowns at Los Angeles International Airport over the holidays. MSNBC quotes an eyewitness as saying
“[Paula] had an insane nervous breakdown that lasted 10 minutes… One minute she was hyperventilating and on the verge of passing out; the next she was yelling into her cell phone in this deep, rage-filled ‘Poltergeist’ voice. She kept screaming three names over and over — Michael, Sidney and Leslie. Everyone was staring at her, but she didn’t care.”
I’ve seen The DaVinci Code and National Treasure, so I know nonsensical gibberish is almost always a secret code or anagram. Which means — dun dun DUN — that Paula was trying to tell us something here. And then it occurred to me that the letters in the names “Michael,” “Sidney” and “Leslie” can be arranged to spell SMELLY INLAID CHEESE1. Which obviously means that a bunch of Freemasons buried a secret message somewhere in a vat of stinky Limburger to protect the bloodline of the Christ. Of course, it could also mean that Paula hid all her Vicodin in Ziploc full of ricotta so none of those bastard airport leprechauns would steal from her again. It’s hard to know for sure without using the Fibonacci sequence or being completely batshit insane.
1They can also be arranged to spell YE LEECH SMILE ISLAND
Paula at the 9th Annual Family Television Awards Dinner last month:
9 Comments, Comment or Ping
p0nk
Because if she had said “Larry, Curly, and Moe”, it could have been code for “You really rmr” which makes absolutely no sense.
Jan 9th, 2008
bionic bunny
alright, that’s just odd. but i think i just remembered where i put my percocet.
Jan 9th, 2008
abby
Soft cheeses are this drug mule season’s poop chute.
Jan 9th, 2008
Butch
Extreme close ups are this woman’s mortal enemy.
Jan 9th, 2008
kathie!
Could she be Britney’s mom????
Jan 9th, 2008
JanIAm
I believe I have the answer. Bear with me. The answer may shock you, but I believe the truth must be told.
The names “Michael” and “Sidney” are derived from the game Rock Star Ate my Hamster, a management strategy computer game developed by Codemasters in 1988 and originally released on their GOld label for the Amstrad CPC, ZX Spectrum, Commodore 64, Amiga and Atari ST. It was inspired by a 1986 Sun headline: “Freddie Starr Ate my Hamster” which served as a focal point for mid-1980’s tabloid culture and helped further the career of the comic. The characters of Michael (or Wacky Jacko) and Sidney (or Gary Glitter) are available for hire in the game for a weekly wage that depends on the abilities and fame of the star. You, as the band manager, have the task of assembling the band and deciding what kind of equipment to buy, when and where to practice, when and where to tour, etc.
The name “Leslie” refers to CBS Corporation president-CEO Leslie Moonves, who has recently been a driving force behind the reality show Rock Star. For your consideration: Rock Star the TV show vs. Rock Star ate My Hamster — can it be mere coincidence that Paula Abdul is a judge on a show which searches for new rock stars, AND that she has now been observed arguing with an unknown correspondent regarding rock stars in a game which has the word “rock star” in its title?
This is no mere coincidence, my friends. This is surely a sign that Ms. Abdul is a cunning and manipulative agent whose real agenda is unknown at this time. But as God is my lord and savior, I will make it my business to find out. And when I do, I will report back to you my findings. And until then, stay strong, and keep the faith.
Jan 9th, 2008
RichPort
Hey Paula, that hairstyle doesn’t work for Amy Winehouse and it doesn’t work for you either.
Jan 10th, 2008
nordo
Up the dosage Paula, I’m bored
Jan 10th, 2008
Black And White
But who knows she had a profile at mixedfriends.com which is a niche interracial dating site? She had a hot video there. She is really sexy with bikini in that video. someone thought it is naughty. but I don’t think so
Jan 11th, 2008
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