Tom Cruise Is Crazy… In Love

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Tom Cruise’s acceptance speech for the Scientologist IAS Freedom Medal of Valor in 2006 has made its way online, and is of course being yanked as fast as it’s put up, probably because the highlights include him saying:

A Scientologist… has the ability to create new and better realities and improve conditions.

Being a Scientologist, when you drive past an accident… you know you have to do something about it because you know you’re the only one that can really help.

We are the authorities on getting people off drugs, we are the authorities on the mind, we are the authorities on improving conditions.

We can rehabilitate criminals.

I have to tell you something – it is rough and tumble, and it’s wild and woolly, and it’s a blast, it’s a blast.

Coincidentally, more details are being leaked from Andrew Morton’s unauthorized biography that somehow make Tom sound even more fucking insane than he does in the above video clip. Like this little tidbit, via Us Weekly

Before his whirlwind romance with Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise tried wooing Jennifer Garner. In Tom Cruise: An Unauthorized Biography, Morton writes that Cruise left messages on the Alias star’s voice mail in 2004 asking “if she knew what freedom was,” but his advances were rebuffed.

What the hell kind of pickup line is that? That’s goddamn terrifying. He might as well have left a message saying “I once killed a drifter to get an erection” or “I like to see how close I can swing a fireplace poker to your head without bashing your skull in while you’re sleeping.” That kind of talk usually doesn’t get you anything but a trip to police station and a restraining order.

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17 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. iheartlasagne

    This is truly fucking retarded. He just goes on and on about ‘it’, it just confuses me. I was told I need to read Dianetics to understand…No thanks! Anywho, your comments were fucking hilarious, totally put things in perspective for me.

  2. RichPort

    And of course by it’s a blast, he means his preferred remedy for dry facial skin.

  3. me

    Somebody should ask Katie if she knows what freedom is.

  4. sonya

    TCICILWTC

  5. RichPort

    That took me minute sonya.

  6. p0nk

    lmfao sonya, i had to go back up and read the headline to decode, but so worth it.
    …and because it can’t be said enough, TCLTC

  7. Veggi

    It’s fucking cold here and I’m sober. Can you impove THOSE conditions Tom? Can ya?

  8. RichPort

    He looks like the cat that swallowed the cumary…

  9. p0nk

    Veggi!!! good to see you again.

  10. bionic bunny

    out of sheer boredom, started reading the book last night. only up to “risky business” so far.
    can’t say morton is the best writer in the world, but he beats all hell out of elron!
    oh, and just because everybody else is jumping off the bridge:
    TCLTC!

  11. abby

    Sorry about leaving off the “order” up there. Scientology made me do it.

  12. open mouth jones

    I will refrain from commenting on Crazy Cruise, as I am fear for my life if he finds me. I’m scared.

  13. sue

    pernicious is what it is. silly man…

  14. He is probably a nice guy but he just freaks me out

  15. Aerobella

    Scientology gets the unbelieving in by confessing their sins and opening up and really taking themselves to task for being greedy, selfish, lazy, gluttonous.. etc Christianity without results and Christ.. to a small box in a room with monitors and helpful pals.. Blah blah. You don’t go to church..Um,? You really kinda cut out Christ and just improve yourself with pals.. and a silly In the Begining story.

  16. abby

    Only it’s WAAAYY more expensive, and they videotape your confessions and then blackmail you with ‘em. It’s a wee bit different from the Jesus way, but I see your point.

  17. psilocybe

    fuck tom cruise and katie holmes she must be retarded or some shit shes with a guy whos religion is based on the srambled ramblings of a cenile el ron hubbard…….fuck scientoligist the world over

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