Britney No Shows To Court, Take 147
Tags: Britney Spears, custody, hearing, Kevin Federline
Britney Spears requested an emergency hearing yesterday in an attempt to regain some sort of visitation rights, asking that she be allowed to spend time with the children in a medically supervised setting. Repeat: she requested the hearing. Unfortunately, she never actually showed up to the hearing yesterday, which didn’t help her case as much as you would think. According TMZ
Brit arrived at the courthouse and went through the metal detector, but then had a change of heart and didn’t want to go inside the courtroom. Brit wanted visitation restored in a “therapeutic setting” — meaning under the treatment of medical professionals — but that wasn’t gonna happen, especially since she never showed to make a plea. The Court noted Brit’s absence.
K-Fed [retains] sole custody and no visitation for Brit for now.
Before we jump to conclusions, has anyone considered that maybe she suffers from “Legal Batophobia,” or fear of court houses? I distinctly remember her saying “I’m scared, I’m scared” in the parking lot of the last hearing she missed. It makes perfect sense. In fact, a lot of her behavior lately makes sense if you take in her many irrational fears. I can think ten phobias she clearly suffers from right off the top of my head.
10. Trichophobia — fear of human hair. Hence the shitty weaves. That one’s pretty obvious.
9. Vestiphobia — fear of bras and support garments. Nipple much?
8. Dermapharmacophobia — fear of Clearasil and Stridex. Maybe she likes her boils!
7. Anrhypovestiphobia — fear of stain-resistant shirts. Stains add character.
6. Lachanophobia — fear of any foods not battered and deep-fried. Well, they’re not as tasty.
5. Eudacibophobia — fear of any food not sugar-coated. See #6.
4. Eudamelophobia — fear of good music. Anyone who’s purchased any of her albums knows exactly what I’m talking about here.
3. Hypengyophobia — fear of responsibility. Probably the impetus for the new personalities and the chronic lateness.
2. Monophobia — fear of being alone. Explains the paparazzi BFFs and the Sam Lufti entourage.
and the number one phobia plaguing Britney Jean Spears:
1. Pedophobia — fear of children. They always want you to do lame stuff like change their diapers and read books. So boring, it’s scary!
Britney doing what she does best — leaving court — yesterday morning:
11 Comments, Comment or Ping
p0nk
logophobia - fear of rational thought?
sorry, i’m distracted today…oh something shiny…
Jan 24th, 2008
open mouth jones
As long as that something shiny isn’t, say, Sad Nips Mcgee’s disgusting, dripping, oozing lady bits, well that’s perfectly understandable.
Jan 24th, 2008
Aerobella
Such a liar and con artist.. she’s fearful of getting caught on many illegal things and activities she is up to.. and being tied down to learning the laws and rules of adult life and being held responsible for it ever. Let her get jailed with Sammy and all the other criminal losers she hangs out with then let’s all laugh when her frantic antics to appear nuts to hide her real nature and lifestyle is busted.
Jan 24th, 2008
iheartlasagne
I try not to spend too much time thinking about this psycho, but the thought did cross my mind: could a factor in avoiding the court appearances be that she doesn’t want to face her ex? There was some speculation that she was still into him or whatever, so I wonder…
Oh what the fuck, who cares.
Jan 24th, 2008
Popcornridge
Is it OK, to use the same toothpick you used for breakfast, for lunch as well. Anyone, Anyone.
Jan 24th, 2008
abby
My magic eight ball says “all signs point to yes.” So pick away!
P.S. My magic eight ball is made of cocaine. I just hold it up to my mouth and pretend to make it talk.
Jan 24th, 2008
Kayla
Why are you people falling for all the s— they write about this girl?! 80% of it is lies! She is human, making mistakes, needs mental help, hey! that is half the world! Them freaks are the sick ones and God is watching you paps and media freaks!! People please pray for her! We are at war in our country, hate on them if you gotta hate! The world is at end and Satan and his workers are ready to devour whomever. HATE ON HIM! God help Britney!
Jan 24th, 2008
p0nk
kayla, i will pray for you.
Jan 24th, 2008
bionic bunny
which ones are the freaks and which ones are satan’s workers again? i like to keep these things straight. it helps when i’m watching South Park.
p0nk, you’re such a saint!
Jan 24th, 2008
Mitsu
Kayla, does your mom not keep any valium in the bathroom where you live? You might wanna just go check, you know, just in case. Because I think you could use a couple.
Jan 24th, 2008
Popcornridge
Thanks Abby, my teeth are not bright and shiny
Jan 25th, 2008
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