More Britney Spears, because the power of Christ compels me:

Britney’s family is trying to cut all of her ties to Hollywood and her douchebag entourage, instructing her lawyers cease talking with Sam Lutfi and making plans to take her back home to Louisiana. I hate to break it to them, but there’s still plenty o’ meth in the great state of Louisiana! And if there’s one thing Britney likes, it’s her meth. According to the National Enquirer

Britney Spears had been on a 24-hour meth binge before she was rushed to the hospital. Ironically, she was desperately trying to stay awake — because she was terrified that if she fell asleep, her family would “drag her off to a mental institution,” according to a close source.

Additionally, TMZ is reporting that Britney Spears has been classified as “G.D.” by the staff at UCLA Medical Center. Now, G.D. doesn’t stand for “God Damn that girl is fucked up” or “Ugh, she Got Diarrhea all over the wall again” — it stands for “Gravely Disabled.”

[Being classified G.D.] means the patient is unable to take care of basic needs, such as the acquisition of food, clothing or shelter. Being G.D. is one of the criteria for involuntary commitment.

Several health care professionals tell us Britney has fallen into a “manic state” due to her bipolar disorder. She arrived at the hospital this morning at around 2:15 AM, but wasn’t admitted until 4:15 AM because she was causing such a scene. We’re told Britney screamed, “The only reason [my mother's] admitting me is because she wants to be alone with her boyfriend! She wants to sleep with my boyfriend!!” Britney never said exactly who she was talking about.

That would mean Britney honestly believes her mother wants to boink one of the following:

1. Adnan Ghalib

2. Kevin Federline

3. Sam Lutfi

The bitch is clearly delusional. There is nobody in the world except for Britney who would want their genitals within a five-mile radius of these losers. Seriously, I don’t even know where to start. You could ask somebody, “Hey, would you like to have sex with one of these guys, or could I interest you in expressing the anal glands of this pack of angry dogs?” That’s when I’d reach for the Vaseline and thank God for groin protectors and latex gloves.

Britney the night before the hospital, take 2:

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