Brendan Fraser is officially terrifying. (MollyGood)
Janet Jackson’s belt really detracts from her balls. (Websters)
Ashton Kutcher is going to pay dearly for that wayward ass-gloss-over. (pretty boring)
A flatulent rip in the space-time continuum — and if you smelt it, you dealt it. (Pajiba)
Jenna Jameson and Aubrey O’Day — see if you […]

That void in your morning between the hours of ten and eleven is about to be filled with a little something I like to call “Kathie Lee Kreamy Goodness.” Symptoms include diarrhea and an uncontrollable urge to bludgeon your television set with your bare fists. People Magazine says
The former Live! co-host […]

Here’s Lara Flynn Boyle leaving Mr. Chow Saturday night, and here’s Kathy Bates getting ready to take a sledgehammer to Santino Corleone’s ankles in the movie “Misery.” Bizarre parallel universe on a twenty-year time delay? Perhaps. Plastic surgery gone horribly wrong? More like it.
Paging Dr. Serrano:

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Recognize the chick on all fours tonguing the magazine laying on the ground? I didn’t think you would. The above photo is one of many less-than-demure shots of George Clooney’s girlfriend Sarah Larson, a “model” from Vegas, taken a month after they were first introduced. Star Magazine says
“She’s been described […]

Australian actress Sophie Monk helped herself to a big ol’ slice of Paris Hilton leftover pie by swapping her ex-boyfriend for Paris’. Sound confusing and riddled with genital blisters? Grab a spoon and dig in! Star Pulse says
[Sophie] split from rocker fiance Benji Madden at the beginning of 2008 and now she […]

Fergie crack-attack! (Use My Computer)
Another reason to hate Maxim? The Hills‘ “Over the Hills.” (Jossip)
Steve-O snorts blow off some slut’s leg. (MollyGood)
John Mayer blogs from the fart heart. Still smells like shit, though. (Websters)
Jack Nicholson has some massive man boobs. (Seriously? OMG)
The Hulk is banging his own daughter! […]

You already met former New York governor Eliot Spitzer’s first hooker, Ashely Alexandra Dupre — now meet the other super-classy broad he was porking in his off time. The NY Post says
At the center of the [second prostitution ring] is Kristin “Billie” Davis, a busty bottle blonde who hails from a rough-and-tumble California […]

Britney Spears is bound and determined to get rid of all the crap in her life. Literally. The Mirror reports
The 26-year-old wants to look good on the inside too and is having regular colon cleansing sessions at a clinic in Beverly Hills. Our source at the clinic said: “Cleansing a few […]

Babyshambles frontman Pete Doherty might be Scientology’s latest victim — a “lover” has reportedly introduced him to the lunatic cult. Probably after a night of sharing spiced meats and making love to a frenzy of native drums beneath the beckoning cries of the great eagle spirit. According to London’s The Sun
Pete, 29 […]

Although this may shock and surprise you, it turns out they have television in Turkey! Indoor plumbing and a handle on the bird flu not so much, but television, yes. Here’s the proof: a video of Paris Hilton at at Miss Turkey 2008 contest on channel Kanal 1! Hoş geldiniz! […]