Just As Plastic As The Real Thing

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The good folks at RADAR online have come across the must-have item for your gossip junkie/pervert loser: celebrity-themed blow up sex dolls! For only $29.95, you, too, can have a go at Dirty Christina, JHo, Crazy Daisy (Jessica Simpson in “Dukes of Hazzard”), Lindsay Fully Loaded, Eva Longwhoria, or the Paris Love Doll. Where do I sign up? Interestingly, the manufacturer was only disappointed with one doll in the collection. He tells RADAR

The one I’m not happy with is Paris, which didn’t come out well.

Probably because it has twice the IQ of the real Paris and is missing the herpes simplex virus. How is a guy supposed to believe he’s porking Paris Hilton if he doesn’t finish with a bout with genital blisters and an overwhelming sense of self-loathing? It’s probably too late to market the sense of shame separately. It’s not like shame’s a big a seller1 to begin with. Unless you’re the Roman Catholic church, of course, in which case shame funds nearly 80% of your adjusted gross income annually.

1I know my “Pictures of Your Mom Naked” in a CanTM wasn’t nearly the blockbuster I’d hoped it be.

LSFW plastic celebrity harem:

sex_doll_christina_aguilera.jpgsex_doll_christina_aguilera_2.jpgsex_doll_eva_longoria_1.jpgsex_doll_eva_longoria_2.jpg
sex_doll_jessica_simpson_1.jpgsex_doll_jessica_simpson_2.jpgsex_doll_jlo_1.jpgsex_doll_jlo_2.jpg
sex_doll_lindsay_lohan_1.jpgsex_doll_lindsay_lohan_2.jpgsex_doll_paris_hilton_1.jpgsex_doll_paris_hilton_2.jpg

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9 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. open mouth jones

    If, after a night in Paris, your nethers don’t tingle with that special love feeling, well then you probably just banged the look-a-like tranny who works the corner outside my job.

  2. dfdfer

    I have purchased all six dolls with my meager spamming paychecks.

  3. youknowbob

    She looks just like my mom.

  4. Mike Paahana

    dolls no talk back an give u stress

  5. Sexy&hot.I am not cray about her.I just saw she is always dating sexy play boys in millonaire site”WealthyLoving.com”.I curious is she really has a baby now?

  6. if you ask me, i think $29.95 is entirely too much.
    http://slackerchic.blogspot.com/

  7. I don’t know who that was supposed to be, but it looks just like Liza Minelli.

  8. RichPort

    Joadan: I curious is she really has a baby now?

    Really, what more needs to be said?

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