JLo’s new reality show won’t star her babies or her husband. Ooh, sounds fascinating! (MollyGood)
Benji Madden writes Paris a love song. I hope it’s called “Herpe Hoedown.” (Celebrity Smack)
See, homophobia, racism, rape, torture, and incest just needed a little ganja-fueled hilarity to translate into box-office dollars. The boobs and […]

I assume there were no electrical accidents on the set of “Crank 2,” because actress Amy Smart’s boobs were clearly labeled “Phase A Low Voltage” with black electrical tape. Find more safety tips like these in the NFPA’s Electrical Fire Safety manual under the heading “Nipples and You: A Lesson in Conductivity.” Available online […]

Mariah Carey has yet to confirm it, but the diamond ring she’s wearing on her left hand definitely came from her new fiance, Nick Cannon. According to Page Six
Cannon bought the bauble for $2.5 million at Jacob & Co, [where our] witness overheard Cannon telling Jacob they are set to marry. Carey’s new bling […]

I’m still not entirely convinced that people actually watch “American Idol” anymore, but if you happened to catch it last night, you caught Paula Abdul making a huge gaffe on live TV. Then you probably went back to knitting socks or reading Colossians or updating your FaceBook when you were supposed to be doing […]

Britney Spears was photographed meandering around a hotel gym yesterday barefoot and in nothing but a towel. Let’s hear it for ring worm and athlete’s foot! The Daily Mail says
After her shower in the spa at a Marina del Rey hotel, she wandered out to the gym in just a towel, giving gym-goers […]

No, I swear — it’s really not Christina Aguilera’s vagina. It just looks like it. (CityRag)
“Baby Mama’s” Amy Poehler is a baby mama — for real! (CelebNewsWire)
Which is creepier — Hannah Montana in daddy’s lap, or Hulk Hogan oiling his own daughter’s ass? (Websters)
Cher was in love with Tom Cruise. […]

An unidentified “collector” who allegedly discovered a Jimi Hendrix sex tape in a box of rock memorabilia has sold the rights to the tape to Vivid Entertainment, the largest purveyor of porn in the world. For only $39.95, you can watch a visibly intoxicated black guy who might or might not be Hendrix […]

Here’s the first single from Scarlett Johansson’s un-anticipated album, “Anywhere I Lay My Head” — a cover of Tom Waits’ classic “Falling Down.” It sounds like she set the mic on echo effect and did her best Gort from “The Day the Earth Stood Still” impression. It’s great if you’re into staccato […]

Former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer’s overpriced hooker Ashely Dupré filed a law suit against Joe Francis and Girls Gone Wild yesterday seeking $10 million in damages for misuse of her name and image for profit. Apparently “misuse of tits and lesbian shower scenes” holds no legal bearing in court. Joe Francis […]

I woke up ten minutes ago fairly sure that I had been a victim of a hate crime and amoebic dysentary. Turns out that I just drank a lot of something called “Absinthe” last night. If you’ve never indulged, let me save you the mystery and suggest you down a quart of kerosene […]