Paris Hilton Sells Fake Hair

Apr 15, 2008

Paris Hilton Sells Fake Hair

Tags: bandit, encyclopedia brown, extensions, fake hair, Paris Hilton

Not to be outdone by Jessica Simpson in the shitty fake hair department, Paris Hilton has hopped on board the extension express. Nine MSN says

What better person to market a line of tacky hair accessories than extension queen Paris Hilton? The platinum hair-ress has come out with a curious contraption called ‘The Bandit’ - which is essentially a hairband with hair extensions attached to it.

Honest to God, I thought it said “Badger” on the box instead of “Bandit” the first time I saw the picture. But then I realized it was just fake hair inside, and not a Halloween gag silicon replica of Paris Hilton’s vagina like I assumed from the name. Another clue as to the real contents of the box was that the packaging was way too small for a replica of Paris Hilton’s vagina. Something that big and floppy would need to come in an orange crate or maybe a mattress box. See, this is why everyone calls me the “Encyclopedia Brown of the Gossip World.” That and my arch nemesis Bugs Meany and my fair flat rate of 25 cents per day, plus expenses.

10 Comments, Comment or Ping

unnamed

there’s a badger in her pants and it’s name is herpes

Apr 15th, 2008
tree

That hair looks like total shit.

Apr 15th, 2008
tree

I bet you could use that hair to sweep up dust mites and pet dander.

Apr 15th, 2008
RichPort

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I wear my name on each article of clothing all the time too. Of course she should have written it backwards, so she could read it in a mirror.

HA! I kill me… like she can read…

Apr 15th, 2008
sonya

Does it come with a sample size of herpes?

Apr 15th, 2008
alice ♥ ♥♥ ♥

she is a slut. a butt slut.

Apr 15th, 2008
Leslie

I love the fact that the box says “Great Results Everytime.” I don’t think “everytime” is even a word. Kind of like when a professionally made sign says something like “Taco’s 89 cent’s” LOL

Apr 15th, 2008
open mouth jones

herpes ridden badger faced butt slut. try saying that ten times really fast.

Apr 15th, 2008
unnamed

She’s a beautiful woman.She’s so gorgeous. I love her. I saw her profile with photos and videos at m y i n t e r r a c i a l m a t c h . c o m I also found her blog there.It’s said that she’s seeking for a young man to be the BF ? Is that ture ???

Apr 15th, 2008
rebecca

In the main picture she looks like one of the Wayans brothers from White Chicks. Wait I’m sorry, they’re prettier as women than she is.

Apr 15th, 2008