Mariah Carey’s Shorts Are HUUUGE

Apr 22, 2008

Mariah Carey’s Shorts Are HUUUGE

Tags: hot 97, jeans, Mariah Carey, shorts

Mariah Carey showed up at Hot 97 studios in New York yesterday in the biggest, most unflattering pair of denim shorts the world has ever known, including Levi’s brief foray into bib-front overall shorts and the Navy’s unfortunate experiment with military-issue denim culottes. She got the knickers part right, but if she really wants to work the Regency Era, she’s missing the tailed jacket and a pair of shoes with buckles. Also a powdered wig. It’d help if she had consumption or dropsy or maybe unchecked syphilis and a staunch opinion on The Great Reform Act of 1832. Sorry, Mariah, but you’ve got nothing on colonial Williamsburg.

11 Comments, Comment or Ping

RichPort

Good lord, I’d love her to play “No teeth, no hands” with me…

Apr 22nd, 2008
syd

It’s like a fucking corset!! My hatred of clothes actually touching me is making me sweat. I’d rather be naked than wear those.

Apr 22nd, 2008
open mouth jones

I loathe the whole shorts/skirt over tights thing. It’s hideously unflattering no matter old the victim is.
I will, however, mention that they make her rack look huuuuuge.

Apr 22nd, 2008
sonya

What happens when you really really really need to go pee? Huh, girls?

Apr 22nd, 2008
SuzyQ

Let’s face it. She’s a cunt.

Apr 22nd, 2008
open mouth jones

Ya piss yourself, cuz there ain’t no way to undo ALL of those buttons that quickly.
I always did say that nuthin’ says class like that faint whiff of urine.

Apr 22nd, 2008
abby

Tights under shorts is SOOOO Blossom.

Apr 22nd, 2008
Izzy

The shorts only go part of the way up. The rest is a “belt”, similar to this one here: http://www.hsn.com/the-look-by-randolph-duke-corset-belt_p-3959430_xp.aspx

It’s still butt ugly and the tights are a total mystery to me.

Apr 22nd, 2008
JMc

i’d eat her ass out after she came back from a long bike ride on a humid august afternoon

Apr 22nd, 2008
RichPort

JMc you’d have to wait until I was done.

Apr 23rd, 2008
rationalpsychic

I always feel so protective of her, I don’t know why. She’s a little gal with a big voice. You always wonder who hangs with these celebs and says, “Oh, girl, it’s you!”

(Now for the snarky bit:) I really wish she’d get some political consciousness. It’d make her so much more interesting.

Apr 23rd, 2008