I can only hope Sarah Jessica Parker’s flowers were from Algernon. (MollyGood)

Al Reynolds is a bonafide heftero. You know, “the bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin’.” Thank you, Spinal Tap! (BestWeekEver)

Rare silicon-and-botox free specimen discovered in Hollywood! Scientists remain baffled. (Celebrity Smack)

Brad Pitt tattoos his love handles! (Celebitchy)

This is not a gimmick: You can make a fortune, overcompensate for your small penis with fast cars, and own a huge Hollywood mansion with swimming pool that your child will one day drown in because of your neglect if you just follow these five simple rules! (Pajiba)

I always thought Katie Holmes would smell like crab rangoon. (Websters)

Megan Fox gets nekkid! (The Blemish)

Is that the universe in Elisha Cuthbert’s pants, or is she just happy to see me? (Derek Hail)

Ben Affleck’s biggest regret isn’t Gigli! Perhaps that night with the Taiwanese she-male? (Seriously? OMG)

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