Oct 9, 2008
High School Musical star Zac Efron was attacked by a man last night at a West End theater in London. The Daily Mail says
Efron was leaving the Apollo in Shaftesbury Avenue when a middle-aged man - thought to be a deranged fan - began shouting and pointing at him. The attacker… was then said to have lunged forward and tried to grab his hair.
An onlooker said: ‘Some guy just reached over and grabbed the side of Zac’s head. There was no provocation. He was shouting all kinds of things at Zac. Their security team had to bundle Zac into a car, but at one point it looked as though the man was going to be pushed into it with him.’
Zac reportedly remained calm and composed during the entire unfortunate attack. The secret to maintaining his collective cool? L’Oréal Double Extend Waterproof Mascara and Cashmere Perfect 8-Hour PowderCrème Foundation. “It just lasts and lasts!” he’s quoted as saying. “Tears, sweat, semen — and believe you me, it saw it all last night!” L’Oréal — because he’s worth it.
Sep 29, 2008
Amy Winehouse is staring down another arrest after punching a dancer at the $1400-a-ticket End Of Summer Ball in London last week. Police fear that she may, in fact, be rabid at this point, and the only way to make it stop is to let her have it Old Yeller-style. The Sun reports
Sherene Flash, 30, said junkie Amy punched her in the eye after she asked to take the star’s picture. Amy then ran off, crying out: “Life can’t go on. I can’t do this any more.”
A pal said: “Sherene asked Amy if she could take a photo. Amy was OK at first, but when Sherene asked if a friend could get in the shot, Amy lashed out.”
A source said: “[Amy] was getting distressed. There was a lot of grabbing and flashbulbs were going off. She was startled.”
Amy is also alleged to have struck the official photographer for Thursday night’s event.
Remember those “this is your brain on drugs” commercials they used to run back in the nineties? The ones with the egg frying in the cast-iron skillet? I imagine Amy’s brain is kinda like that. Only add a couple of shots of the egg being worked over a cheese grater and pounded with a croquet mallet and fed to angry bear by a midget in top hat on a unicycle. Any questions?
Sep 4, 2008
Keira Knightley says she still feels uneasy and vulnerable after a stranger verbally accosted her in London last week. According to the Daily Mail
Keira, 23, said: ‘The other day I was walking down the street and was really thinking about this book I’d been sent. You know when you’re really in another place. Somebody jumped out and went, “Keira Knightley! Who the fuck do you think you fucking are? You’re such a cunt.” All this, and I’m completely on my own.’
After that horrific experience, Keira had a minder last night for the premiere of [her new movie] The Duchess. ‘It’s a weird thing to have to deal with, but it’s happened enough to make me quite jumpy,’ the actress said.
First of all, it’s not like I just “jumped out of nowhere.” I’d been camped outside her Richmond flat for a good two weeks. Secondly, my Tourette’s tends to act up when I’m nervous. What I meant to say was, “I really loved you in the first Pirates, Keira!” But what came out was “Keira Knightley! Who the fuck do you think you fucking are? Motherfuck shit shit fucking cunt Jew baby BALLS!” and also some eye twitches and compulsive spits. So, pretty much the toast I gave at my sister’s wedding word for word, only with more guys with billy clubs and handcuffs at the end. Mazel tov!
