Besides the Oscars, the Vanity Fair party and Alexander McQueen’s flagship store, Paris Hilton has now been banned from a Russian Hyatt hotel. According to The Sun

Paris Hilton was banned from a top hotel after signing her name on the expensive wallpaper. The dippy heiress, 27, scribbled “Paris Moscow 2008” in black marker in the Hyatt’s $16,000-a-night presidential suite for a photoshoot during a stay in the Russian capital.

The Hyatt Hotel fined her $9,000 and said she could never return.A spokesman said: “Miss Hilton ruined the wallpaper in the luxury suite. In such a case the client automatically goes on the black list.”

At least it wasn’t a total loss. The defaced wallpaper still matched the employee bathroom stall’s “For a good time call Paris Hilton ” and “Those who write on bathroom walls, Roll their shit in little balls, And you who read these words of wit, Eat those little balls of shit.” It’s just too bad that there are seven floors in between the employee lounge and the Presidential Suite.

Ataturkian strategist and supermodel Naomi Campbell is firing back at British Airways after they banned her for life earlier this month. Read: they can’t ban her because she’s banning them. In your fuckin’ face, British Airways! According to The Mirror

[Naomi] is now claiming that BA has begged her to use their services again. Campbell, 37, told a Brazilian newspaper interview: “Someone from BA called me and asked that I return to fly with them. They didn’t find my bag - said it wasn’t in the system - and there was a complete disrespect for passengers. I am speaking for all those who have been disrespected.”

However, a BA insider said: “We are not aware of any pleading phone calls to Ms Campbell.”

A clever response, indeed, best executed when “I know you are, but what am I?” and “Neener neener neener” have already been exhausted. You can find more helpful hints like these in “The Art of War” under the heading “recess.”

Paris Hilton has reportedly been blacklisted again — this time from the grand opening of fashion designer Alexander McQueen’s new store in L.A. According to Female First

British designer Alexander McQueen doesn’t want ‘The Simple Life’ star as a customer when he opens his stylish Los Angeles boutique next month. McQueen [added]: “If she comes past the shop, hopefully she will just keep walking.

For the record, McQueen’s not banning PETA or the Paint Panthers or carpet beetles. Just Paris Hilton. You could show up in blueberry shoes crying red wine tears and moth larvae and you’d still make it inside the shop before she did.

Paris Hilton hawking her new line of clodhoppers in Montreal:

First last year’s Vanity Fair party, and now the Oscars themselves — Paris Hilton has reportedly been banned from attending the most elite awards show in Hollywood. According to Female First

The hotel heiress was devastated after being told she couldn’t attend the prestigious event on Sunday night. [She had already] splashed out £2 million on a designer dress for the ceremony. A source said: “She cried hot, salty tears when she was banned from the Oscars.”

The “hot, salty tears” source then went back to reading aloud from “The Duke and the Preacher’s Virgin Daughter” and “The Quivering Explosion of Hot Man Love” to an audience of overweight middle-aged women standing in line at the Walgreen’s pharmacy.

Star magazine is claiming that sobriety poster girl Lindsay Lohan has been banned from yet another (remember the Mondrian?) swanky hotel — the Shutters on the Beach Hotel in Santa Monica — after a three-day stint with snowboarding douche Riley Giles left a room in less than pristine condition. Hotel Chatter says

“Staffers went into clean and were shocked,” says the source. “It was a pigpen. There was filth everywhere and the room stank of cigarette smoke. There was also a bloody syringe that someone left lying on the bedside table on a room service tray. Hotel security photographed it before calling someone to remove it because it was considered hazardous waste.” The hotel also had to call in a professional cleaning crew to clean up the mess that Lohan made. The last word in all of this is that Shutters has blacklisted her.

Lindsay was hysterical when she found out that she’d been blacklisted, until her agent gently explained that “blacklisted” didn’t mean “no more sex with black guys.” Then she wiped her eyes and sniffed, “Really? Oh, thank God!” and made what I thought was the sign of the cross. Her agent later told me it was just a recap of all the places she’d let you stick your wiener, which explained the tongue-in-cheek sign for blowjob at the end. Catholics!

Lindsay leaving the Coffee Bean in L.A. on the seventh: