I already told you about Lindsay Lohan’s latest “serious” movie role as a nymphomaniac waitress in the movie “Florence.” But what I didn’t tell you — it will also star her beaver. Take that, “Herbie: Fully Loaded” critics! The Sun says

Producers only wanted 21-year-old Lindsay to go topless during red-hot sex scenes and were stunned when she told them she would be happy to do a full frontal. And despite usually commanding seven-figures, Lindsay has agreed to strip off for [a mere $40,000]. A Hollywood pal added: “Lindsay wants to build up an image as a mature, responsible actress.”

Hmmm… so, based on what I’ve just read, “mature” and “responsible” must be code words for “break out the poonanny.” Note to self: revise résumé and mortgage application ASAP.

Billie Jean is not my lover:

Your days of seeing Britney Spears’ beaver are numbered, thanks to dad Jamie Spears’ daily panty checks. Welcome to the seventh circle of hell, daddy! According to Showbiz Spy

Jamie is fed up with the Toxic star’s revealing clothing and wants to ensure her pantyless flashing days are behind her. A source said: “Jamie makes sure to ask Britney if she has underwear on before she goes out.” The singer’s assistant, Brett, also reportedly reminds the pop wreck to wear underwear and a bra. The source added to the National Enquirer: “Britney tries to ignore their requests, but her dad is adamant and insists she change if she’s falling out of her top.”

I don’t know which is worse — being the guy that cleans up the slaughtered pig viscera in a meatpacking house, or being the guy that has to check his 26-year old daughter’s undercarriage for visible cave bacon. Either one would probably put you off pork for a while.