Paris Hilton Can’t Dance

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Although this may shock and surprise you, it turns out they have television in Turkey! Indoor plumbing and a handle on the bird flu not so much, but television, yes. Here’s the proof: a video of Paris Hilton at at Miss Turkey 2008 contest on channel Kanal 1! Hoş geldiniz! The Daily Mail says

The Simple Life star appeared as a guest on [the televised Miss Turkey 2008] beauty contest while in the capital Istanbul. She performed with belly dancer Asena during the show. She had all eyes on her for the performance and upstaged the real belly dancer with her stunning, leg-baring outfit.

I don’t know what type of Turkish hashish the folks at the Daily Mail were smoking, but Paris didn’t upstage anybody. She was obviously uncomfortable up there without a pole and a bunch of drunk guys waving singles. Good thing she had Le Tigre and Blue Steel to fall back on. Paris Hilton — she’s so hot right now!