Bulky super-tanned bleach-blonde Linda Hogan has landed her self a new man since splitting from bulky, super-tanned bleach-blonde wrestler Hulk Hogan — she’s dating the bulky, super-tanned bleach-blonde former classmate of her daughter Brooke (who, in case you didn’t already know, also happens to be a bulky, super-tanned bleach-blonde, similar to the bulky, super-tanned bleach-blonde her father is now dating)! According to Nine MSN

Hulk Hogan’s ex-wife Linda has a new beau - she’s 48, he’s 19! And to make matters worse, the boy, Charlie, went to school with Linda’s daughter Brooke - and he was in the grade below her!

“I personally don’t like it at all or condone it,” moans Brooke. “But she’s my mom, so I have to show her support.”

With the whole goddamn family looking like shemale versions of each other, I’ve got my money on seven or eight Mai Tais before Linda accidentally ends up in bed with her own daughter. Excuse me now while I go gouge out my mind’s eye.

Linda Charlie Brooke on vacation last month:

The man posing with Miley Cyrus in some of her recent MySpace pics has won’t be taking her to junior prom this year, mostly because he graduated from high school four years ago. Nine MSN says

Miley Cyrus has been snapped cozying up to a new guy - seven years her senior! The tween superstar, already no stranger to controversy, appears in the shots [kissing one of her back up] dancers ‘Ryan.’

I’m sure 22-year olds and 15-year olds have tons in common. Like, um, MySpace… and other stuff. Like some guy once said, “The language of love needs no translation.” It’s just written in all caps acronyms and punctuated with emoticons so your hater parents can’t understand any of it. GG PAW — KPC 4EVR!!!

On the set of her latest music video:

You know the feeling you got when you you were forced to hug the middle-aged accounting partner of your father’s staggering around in a giant diaper and bonnet at 1986’s New Year’s Eve party? The feeling that compelled you to spend two hours in a scalding hot shower with a Bible and a Brillo pad in the fetal position? Well, relive your seven-year old nightmare all over again with these pictures of Pink in a polka-dot bikini and sun hat in Malibu over the weekend. It’s a disturbing melange of Anne Geddes and biker bar, Gerber and Jack Daniels, Huggies and Astroglide-primed anal fisting. I don’t know whether to find it a binky or light its cigar. It’s probably best to just throw rocks at it and wait until it stops moving before you get any closer.

EDITOR’S NOTE: The ass crack above belongs to Todd Morse of Juliette Lewis’ rock band non-fame and is clearly not a threat to Pink’s masculinity or melatonin production.

In Touch magazine is reporting that actress Kirsten Dunst has finally found true love beneath the romantic canopy of rehab. Showbiz Spy says

The 25-year-old star met the mystery man at the Cirque Lodge rehabilitation center in Sundance, Utah. An insider told the magazine: “The staff has asked the two to separate more than enough. She sits on his lap while smoking cigarettes.”

Dunst’s new boyfriend has asked his mum to send flowers to Kirsten at the clinic on his behalf.

Flowers? What’s Kirsten Dunst going to do with a bunch of fucking flowers? A nice arrangement of captive princesses and new-born babies is what trolls like best. Unless you can get your hands on the bigger, fatter billy goat Gruff just across the bridge, but I bet they’re damn near impossible to wrap.