In what’s sure to be a surprise to no one, thrice rehabbed Lindsay Lohan was caught on tape boozing it up New Year’s Eve. TMZ reports

Cameras caught Lindsay Lohan taking a swig out of a bottle of what we’ve confirmed is champagne on New Year’s Eve in Italy. Blair Berk, Lindsay’s lawyer, told TMZ, “The good news was that Lindsay stopped herself that night, called her sponsor, and got herself immediately back on track. There is no magic cure here. The most unfortunate part of this is that Lindsay has to share her ‘one day at a time’ with the entire world.”

Is “stopped herself and got herself immediately back on track” legalese for “sucked off some old hairy bastard and passed out on the crapper?” If so, I should probably send out an addendum to the 2007 family newsletter that went out with the Christmas cards. Lawyers sure know how to twist your words.