Just after taped jail conversations between Nick Hogan and his mother were made public on Friday, Nick’s “sister” Brooke was involved in a car accident on Sunday. She writes on her MySpace:

“I don’t know if you heard, but my friend and I got into a really bad car accident today ourselves… As I turned on my car I clicked my seatbelt. As we pulled out onto the road, I looked over and realized my friend didn’t have her seatbelt on. I reminded her to put it on and the minute she clicked it, a car crashed into us. It was a horrible car accident, one that most would be severely hurt in, but we had our seatbelts on and they kept us in tight.”

Then her passenger friend added:

~~~Hey this is Brookes friend and passenger, I just wanted to say that Brooke basically saved my life by making me wear my seat belt ….She is such a great friend and a good person! You all should know that! check out what I have to say on my MySpace… I’m on her top friends : La♥La

Well, let it be said that John Graziano’s debilitating head injury and permanent vegetative state were not in vain, because it kept Brooke Hogan and a Teletubby from getting hurt in a car accident. Granted, Brooke and company weren’t pushing Mach 5 into a concrete abutment with a bloodstream full of Bud Light, and Brooke could have probably just grabbed the speeding car by the fender and hurled it over a cliff Hulk-style before it ever touched them, but that’s not the point. The point here is that Brooke Hogan looks like the fucking Iron Monger in a blonde wig. Run fast. Run far.

On the set of her reality show last month:

Britney Spears drove her Mercedes-Benz into the back of an SUV in Beverly Hills yesterday, for a brand new record of two rear-end collisions in less than a month. The NY Daily News reports

Spears was idling at a red light on Sunset Blvd. when she saw cars moving in a left-turn lane and thought she had a green light, too. Spears hit the gas, slamming her white Mercedes into a red Ford Explorer. The star reportedly was texting on her phone while driving.

“Texting while driving” sounds a lot better than “her belly came unlodged from its resting place at the base of the steering wheel and crashed down on her driving leg, causing a chain reaction that ultimately floored the gas and propelled her into the back of the Explorer.” Which, judging from those pictures yesterday, is probably what actually happened.

Hiding the culpable belly beneath a giant purse yesterday: