Heather Locklear announced yesterday that she was “seeking treatment for psychological issues,” which is of course just celebrity speak for “I can’t function without my happy pills.” Her PR glossed over her addicition issues, saying

“Heather has been dealing with anxiety and depression. She requested an in-depth evaluation of her medication and entered into a medical facility for proper diagnosis and treatment.”

From the looks of these pictures, she let her boozing and doping get out of control trying to establish street cred with the Crips. West Side ’till she dies, mothafuckas!

Famed southern writer Eudora Welty once wrote, “A good snapshot stops a moment from running away.” Except for in the case of Heather Locklear, where all it stops is your right hand from going anywhere near your penis.

Heather from a more flattering angle on the set of “Flirting With Forty:”

Bon Jovi guitarist Richie Sambora was arrested late Tuesday night for driving under the influence. But wait — it gets better! His fifth grade daughter was in the car at the time of the arrest. TMZ says

Cops say they observed him driving erratically in a black Hummer and pulled him over. He failed numerous field sobriety tests and was detained for DUI. Richie Sambora’s 10-year-old daughter, Ava, was in the car with him when he was busted for DUI Tuesday night. [Another unnamed juvenile and adult were also in the car at the time of the arrest.]

This guy’s really been on the fast track to success since his split from Heather Locklear! Two trips to rehab, forty or so pounds, and now child endangerment charges. He’s like Britney Spears, only with less visible scalp and British personalities.