Jessica Simpson is handling the news of ex-boyfriend John Mayer’s new relationship with Jennifer Aniston the way most of the dumped do — drinking herself retarded and calling for mom. According to Us Weekly
The 27-year-old singer was so out of it after a four-hour session of drinking at L.A.’s Mexicali Cocina Cantina… that […]

According to Chicago gossip blog These Boots Are Made for Stalking, Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo has finally kicked Jessica Simpson to the curb. Star Magazine reports
“They’re broken up,” Tony’s pal told the blog. “He told us they broke up and that was that. We’re guys so we didn’t talk about it much.” […]

Sometimes, when I’m writing out that $300 check to the U.S. Department of Education, I’ll stop and look up at the diploma hanging over the desk and wonder, “Was it all worth it?” The four years I spent earning my journalism degree; the other two I spent binge drinking and withdraw/failing; the seemingly insurmountable […]

Jessica Simpson and boyfriend Tony Romo celebrated his birthday over the weekend at Suite nightclub in Dallas, where Jessica serenaded him with a quivery-lipped version of “Happy Birthday” before fisting his Cowboys-themed birthday cake and spackling his face with it. I’m guessing she just forgot “which one on the face the eatin’ hole was.” […]

You might remember that Jessica Simpson was hospitalized for four days back in March for a supposed kidney infection. According to insiders, however, it was less of just a “kidney infection” and more of a “complications from a three-week whiskey binge.” I guess it makes a difference when you’re filing those insurance […]

Jessica Simpson recreates Virna Lisi’s iconic March 1965 cover in this April’s issue of Esquire magazine. Inside, you’ll find a dazzling array of pictures of her showcasing her true talents. Her wet, nipply, heaving talents. I suppose “gratuitous near-nudity in men’s magazines” is the next logical step in her career, given the […]

The good folks at RADAR online have come across the must-have item for your gossip junkie/pervert loser: celebrity-themed blow up sex dolls! For only $29.95, you, too, can have a go at Dirty Christina, JHo, Crazy Daisy (Jessica Simpson in “Dukes of Hazzard”), Lindsay Fully Loaded, Eva Longwhoria, or the Paris Love Doll. […]

Cosmopolitan named their annual “Fun and Fearless Men” yesterday in New York, and the one thing the esteemed honorees seemed to have in common — besides their penchant for chest waxing — was Jessica Simpson’s ass. Current boyfriend Tony Romo, ex John Mayer and fling Dane Cook were all among the nominated at the […]

Jessica Simpson is heading to Kuwait next month to entertain the troops overseas. That’s in Canada, right? She writes on her fan site
“Hey ya’ll. I just wanted to say hi, and let you know that I… am heading to Kuwait to do a show for the troops for Operation MySpace, then back in […]

Another one of Joe Simpson’s Stellar IdeasTM has come back to bite Jessica Simpson in the ass — this time, in the form of a workout video. According to Page Six
In 2005, during a lull in her career, Simpson starred in a workout tape produced by Speedfit, a fitness video company. Although she signed […]