New mommy Christina Aguilera celebrated baby Max’s 112 day-old birthday by getting so wasted at the Crown Bar in Hollywood that husband Jordan Bratman had to hold her up on the way out. Reminds me a lot of my folks when I was a little girl. Of course, it was usually me holding momma up and picking the chunks of puke out of her hair instead of daddy, mostly because I didn’t have a dad and we didn’t find out who my real father was until he was paroled and the circus came back to town. So, really, I guess it’s nothing like my childhood. Way to bring me down. Jerks.

Lots of celebrities gave birth over the weekend, including actress Courtney Thorne-Smith and “In Living Color’s” David Allen Grier’s wife. Who and who? Exactly. Now, for the Hollywood pregnancies you were actually aware of:

First up — Nicole Richie. People magazine says

Nicole Richie and her rocker boyfriend Joel Madden are the parents of a daughter. Harlow Winter Kate Madden was born Friday at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center and weighed 6 lbs. 7 oz.

Christina Aguilera also pooped¹ one out over the weekend. People magazine says

Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman welcomed a baby boy on Saturday at 10:05 p.m. Max Liron Bratman [weighed] 6 lbs., 2 oz. and 20.5 inches [and] arrived late on Saturday night in L.A.

I’d bet that Max is gonna grow up to be a real looker, what with Dad’s imaginary chin and Mommy’s spackle-and-pancake complexion. He’d probably have just as much luck in the gene department with Amanda Lepore and Wimpy from Popeye for parents. On the plus side, ought to have a built-in role as a young Boy George in E!’s made for TV movie “Karma Chameleon:The Many Colors of George Alan O’Dowd.”

¹_{Not a typo. Have you seen the birthing process? Yikes.}

Christina and husband five days before the birth: