Jessica Simpson and boyfriend Tony Romo celebrated his birthday over the weekend at Suite nightclub in Dallas, where Jessica serenaded him with a quivery-lipped version of “Happy Birthday” before fisting his Cowboys-themed birthday cake and spackling his face with it. I’m guessing she just forgot “which one on the face the eatin’ hole was.” According to People Magazine

“She licked cake from his face as everyone cheered them on. It was quite a spectacle… Jessica had blue icing all over her hands and mouth and Tony was laughing.”

The neat thing about blue cake is that it makes blue vomit. And there’s nothing funnier than blue vomit. Unless it’s a midget in a top hat being fired from a cannon, but that almost never happens in the mainland U.S. anymore. Fortunately, that’s why God made Singapore.