Actors Seth Rogen and James Franco made a big stink last night when they “pretended” to spark up a doobie on stage at the MTV Movie Awards. Seth and James claimed the fake J they shared was provided by MTV as part of a skit to announce the Best Summer Movie So Far category. The NY Daily News says

Before TV audiences could see them smoking, the cameras pulled to an extremely wide angle, and stayed that way until Rogen and Franco left the stage. “Kids, don’t really smoke fake weed like this,” Rogen told the crowd. Despite Rogen’s claim, the sweet scent wafting through the Gibson Amphitheatre suggested the herb was real.

MTV officials declined to comment on the dope-smoking stunt.

I see we’ve applied to the Howard Stern school of thought, where “shock value” magically equals “funny and cutting edge.” Instead of pretending to smoke pot, Seth and James should have maybe tried pretending to kill themselves instead. At least that might have actually been funny. Especially if there was a man in a bee costume who shrugged his shoulders and blurted, “Que idiotas!” before being hit in the groin with a football. 100 million Mexicans can’t be wrong!

For a list of the night’s winners, click here

Megan Fox as her usual foxy self:

Charlize Theron in the Tin Man’s lingerie collection:

Yawn. Lindsay Lohan:

Pretty in pink Liv Tyler with Mrs. Potato Head:

Anne Hathaway in pleather and Sarah Jessica Parker bringing back go go:

R&B singer Ray J was kicked out of a Washington D.C. Hyatt Regency early Saturday morning for possession of the hallucinogen known as PCP. According to TMZ

Ray J went to his room after partying it up when hotel management got a complaint. Security went up to the room where they allegedly found… a stash of marijuana and the [club drug PCP known as] “Boat.” The singer tried to bribe hotel security so he could stay but they didn’t bite.

When the hell did PCP become a “club drug?” Kids these days. I watched an episode of COPS one time where this guy was high on PCP and it took nearly six cops half an hour to wrestle him to the ground. They tased him like five times and hosed him down with pepper spray and the dude didn’t even flinch. I think they finally had to shoot him in the knee to bring him down. If LSD is the respectable banker uncle at the family reunion, then PCP is the belligerent cousin who shows up with a shotgun down the front of his overalls yelling about communist bears stealing beer out of his trailer again. Yeah, I think I’ll pass.

Ex-toilet Kim Kardashian at a nightclub in The Hamptons on Sunday:

Forget Northern Lights and White Widow — there’s a new strain of medical marijuana on the scene, cleverly dubbed the “Tom Cruise Purple.” Tom Cruise, like the actor! Coincidence? Not really. Rush and Molloy say

… Licensed cannabis clubs in Northern California are selling vials of pot featuring a picture of Cruise laughing hysterically. Word is that the actor’s lawyers are taking a serious look at the strong brand of bud after we brought it to their attention. One weed devotee said, “I heard it’s the kind of pot that makes you hallucinate.”

I suppose that’s better than the being the kind of pot that makes you believe that the aliens souls implanted with false memories and flown to Earth in DC-10s and blown up with H-bombs in volcanoes are to blame for your being a closet homosexual with abandonment issues. Talk about your fucking buzzkill!

22-year old actress Mischa Barton was formally charged yesterday for that DUI she got last December. People Magazine says

Mischa Barton has been charged with driving under the influence and possession of marijuana… [and] driving without a valid license. Her arraignment on the misdemeanor charges is set for Thursday in Beverly Hills Superior Court.

Let’s just hope this arrest won’t interfere with her busy career of hawking canvas tennis shoes and affordable teen fashion! It’d be a real shame if she couldn’t continue to collect a paycheck for having been “The O.C.’s” Marissa Cooper. And finding a generic half-decade-old-teen-drama¹ spokesmodel replacement would be damn near impossible. It’d be like looking for a needle in a haystack, or in the case of the Fox network, a turd in a septic tank.

¹_{Excluding the cast of “Beverly Hills, 90210,” “Party of Five,” “Buffy The Vampire Slayer,” etc., etc.}

Clairols #172 “Trailer Park Blonde” shopping at Urban Outfitters last week: