Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal reportedly joined the ‘Mile High Club’ on a flight to Los Angeles last week. My gut says Jake spent that ten minutes in the bathroom mussing Reese’s bangs “for that extra rowr factor, girlfriend,” but whatever. Showbiz Spy says

Witherspoon and Jake were flying together from Frankfurt, Germany, to Los Angeles after a trip to the Rome Film Festival. “Reese and Jake kissed and cuddled together under a blanket in her recliner seat in the back row,” the witness continued. Three hours into the flight, Reese reportedly got up from her seat and walked forward to the toilet. Two minutes later Jake got up and allegedly walked into the same bathroom. “I started timing them - they were together in there for 11-minutes,” the witness told Star. Jake came out of the bathroom first, and Reese reportedly followed him three-minutes later. “When they each walked by, it seemed like everyone in their entourage took pains to look away.

Mmm-hmm. An airplane bathroom. No place sexier than the four cubic feet where the fat guy in the third row just unloaded a big greasy dump and the legally blind old guy just hosed down the wall. Did I mention there’s only like four cubic feet? Which makes it mathematically impossible for the fat guy’s ass not to have touched the wall when he was wrestling his pants back over his mysterious lump. Lucky Reese. I guess the Delta crapper will have to do when a sewer grate and closet full of lepers isn’t available.

Despite endless speculation and a slew of on again/off again rumors, Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal have finally come out as a couple. If by “couple” you mean “a beard and its gay.” The Daily Mail reports

The pair met on set of the upcoming movie Rendition and have now taken their romance public - they were spotted holding hands and canoodling during a romantic trip to Rome. Witherspoon, whose divorce from former husband Ryan Phillippe was finalised this month, had previously denied a romance with the Brokeback Mountain star. Now it’s clear their love affair is most definitely back on.

All this unexpected PDA! Whatever could have spurned them to go public after nearly a year of denying any romantic involvement? Certainly not Jake’s handlers trying to spin his self-professed love of men’s restrooms or their new movie’s dismal opening weekend. Ace of Spades says

The Vampire flick “30 Days of Night” led all movies by grossing an estimated $16 million, while Rendition came in 9th place taking $4.2 million (it cost $20 million to make). Judging by this weekend’s box office numbers, Americans just don’t care.

That’s right. We don’t. Americans only care about boobs and professional football. Like the esteemed Patrick Henry said to the tyrant King George in 1775, “Give me liberty, or give me boobs.” Also “We hold these boobs to be self-evident,” “A boob in the hand is worth two in the bush,” and “Idle boobs are the devil’s tool.” I’d say the problem with “Rendition” is too much gay and not enough boobs. It’s the same problem that plagued “Brokeback Mountain” and “Mr. Holland’s Phallus.”

Reese and Jake “canoodling” in Rome:

Reese at the Rome Film Festival:

At the Thursday premiere of Rendition, Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon reportedly avoided each other like the herpes, keeping to separate groups of friends and even refusing eye contact. According to Us Weekly:

“They didn’t even talk to each other at the post-reception except when a photographer pulled them together for a picture with the director—and he was standing in between them,” adds another onlooker.

“You know how actors are who are in projects together — they always go up to each other and say, ‘It’s so good to see you!’ For actors to not talk to each other, they have to either hate each other — which they don’t — or they’re hiding something.”

Well, since there’s nothing I love quite like delicious, delicious speculation — here are my Top 10 Reasons Why Jake and Reese Might Be Avoiding Each Other:

10. Reese told Jake that his new beard makes him looks fat.
9. They were on a break!
8. Reese accidentally taped over “Grey’s Anatomy.”
7. Jake finally saw that embarrassing movie she did with Napoleon Dynamite.
6. A strap-on incident that went horribly awry.
5. They’re covering up a murder, obviously.
4. Jake told Reese that her chin is too pointy.
3. Two words: Sex and Tape
2. Three words: Sex and Tape and Internet
1. Fishing trip my ass.

More of Reese looking gorgeous as usual, after the jump.

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