There’s something different about Suri Cruise! Can you guess what it is? Hint: it’s not new batteries. Nine MSN says
The two-year-old, out and about with parents Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, sported a decidedly lighter mop in Manhattan yesterday. [Has she been subjected] to highlights at age two? […]

Tom Cruise finally has the perfect robot wife he’s always wanted — and he’s sure as hell not going to let her get away now. Katie Holmes’ plans to move to New York sans Tommy to star on Broadway were effectively quashed when Tom forced her into “Scientology Boot Camp” last week. Note: […]

Sith Lord Tom Cruise is returning to battle Oprah for the first time since his infamous couch-mounted attacked in 2005. According to Us Weekly
Three years after his memorable couch-jumping episode, Winfrey will interview Cruise from his home in Telluride, Colorado, on May 2. Cruise will [then] appear in her Chicago studio for […]

The brain-washing seems to have begun to wear off, because rumor has that Katie Holmes is planning her escape from husband Tom Cruise with a move to Manhattan for a role on Broadway. A source tells Star
“She desperately needs to be on her own for a while, but there’s no way Tom […]

“CSI” actor and active Scientologist for thirteen years Jason Beghe posted a swear-riddled diatribe against the Church of Scientology on YouTube yesterday. Beghe — who was featured in a promotional video for the church in ‘05 — dropped a lot of dough over the years to achieve the Tom Cruise and John Travolta level […]

Forget Northern Lights and White Widow — there’s a new strain of medical marijuana on the scene, cleverly dubbed the “Tom Cruise Purple.” Tom Cruise, like the actor! Coincidence? Not really. Rush and Molloy say
… Licensed cannabis clubs in Northern California are selling vials of pot featuring a […]

With Katie Holmes’ new pageboy haircut, Tom Cruise is finally one step closer to fulfilling all of his completely normal narcissistic fantasies of having sex with himself. No more masturbating to Risky Business and Top Gun for this Hollywood star! A thorough taping of her breasts and strap-on are all that’s standing in […]

Katie Holmes is breaking fashion ground by designing her own clothing label for Giorgio Armani — it’s the first time a haute couture fashion house has aligned with a non-professional designer. According to OK! Magazine
Mrs. Tom Cruise has indeed closed the deal for her first line, to be called Katie Holmes for Armani. The […]

MSNBC reports today that Will Smith and Jada Pinkett are the new black faces of Scientology. Apparently, there’s just something about paranoid couch-jumping Lilliputians that alienates the African-American demographic! Tom Cruise’s latest venture into the delusional — a $1.3 million security system replete with cameras in every last room of […]

Those rumors that Tom Cruise “auditioned” several Hollywood actresses before choosing Katie Holmes to be his wife have actually been confirmed by a former high-ranking Scientologist. Female First says
[Scientology promotional films producer Marc Headley] reveals, “[Scientology leader David] Miscavige assigned the order: ‘Find a wife for Tom Cruise’ [and] put out a casting call […]