Just two months after having rekindled their relationship, Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson have broken up. Insiders credit the split to Kate’s not being down with Owen having threesomes with Vince Vaughn, while Vince Vaughn credits the split to Kate being such a “ball and fucking chain, bro.” According to People Magazine

Wilson [had] been spotted letting loose… on May 11, [when he] dropped by N.Y.C.’s Upstairs with two women. The late-night outing was followed by a visit to Butter the next night, where he chatted up a sexy blonde.

Says a Hudson source: “She feels dumb thinking it was so serious.”

Well, nothing says “seriously repentant” like another suicide attempt. It worked before, right? This time he should go with a little more gusto, like deep throating a shotgun. Something that will leave a disfiguring scar, so that every time she opens her mouth to bitch about those harmless little orgies, she’ll be staring down a grotesque visual reminder of how much he really loves her. Sorta like Van Gogh, only with way less balls and Kolmogorovian turbulence.

Most beautiful in last month’s People:

Despite reuniting with Kate Hudson in the months since his suicide attempt, actor Owen Wilson is reportedly back to his old tricks. According to Nine MSN

Owen approached a hot girl at Miami’s Purdy Lounge last weekend, proposing she get involved in a threesome with him and a friend (Owen’s good pal Vince [Vaughn] was in town at the time and is [believed] to be the ‘friend’ he had in mind). The paper’s source says the girl “was disgusted with the offer and declined.”

Boy, what cool guys. They should really write a book chronicling their tales of conquest and ribaldry. They could call it “The Adventures of the Butterscotch Stallion and The Sea Donkey” and market it to the Maxim demographic. It’d be a best-seller in a week.

Owen with Jennifer Aniston shooting “Marley and Me” last month: