Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are suing mad over a story ran in British tabloid paper News of the World last week claiming the couple were on the verge of a nasty split. The Guardian UK says

Hollywood stars Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie today began a privacy action against the News of the World over a story that alleged the couple were separating.

The couple’s London lawyers said today: “The News of the World has failed to meet our clients’ reasonable demands for a retraction of and apology for these false and intrusive allegations which have now been widely republished by mainstream news outlets. We have advised them to bring proceedings, which they have now done.

We can confirm unequivocally that the allegations published by the News of the World are false as well as intrusive,” the firm said.

Of course they’re not splitting up! Why, Brad and Angelina’s love is as real as… as real as Bar Refeali’s breasts. Which, incidentally, I happened to have fifteen pictures of right here. I didn’t think it would be fair to draw that kind of visual analogy without giving you a proper frame of reference. I’d hate to be responsible for a disconnect between writer and reader.

In the swimsuit issue: