There are rumors flying today that the five-year relationship between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie has finally come to an end. The News of the World said yesterday
Hollywood golden pair Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have seen divorce lawyers and signed a £205 million split deal.
The agreement gives them joint custody of the kids – but all six will actually live full-time with their mum.
Naturally, several “unnamed sources close to the family” have since come forward to deny that anything is a amiss in the wonderful world of Brangelina land. According to People Magazine
“Everything is fine” with the couple, a source says. Split reports, which were first published in a British tabloid, are “totally false,” [says another source].
“On Jan. 2, Pitt and Jolie shared a romantic dinner for two at Le Perigord. You could tell they wanted to spend time alone,” the source [adds]. “It was wonderful to see a couple so much in love.”
Well, I suppose that last part’s true, if by “romantic dinner” you mean “a melée of drunken insults and character attacks.” The Daily Mail says
They’ve sunk five bottles of wine (two red, two white and an Italian dessert wine)… [and] Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are struggling to keep their emotions in check.
He looks close to tears as he tells the mother of their children that she needs to get psychiatric help or he will leave her. She hisses back to Brad that she’s bored with him, she considers him ‘toxic’ and wants him out of her life.
And then there are those pesky reports that the couple has actually been living separate lives for months now:
Brad recently bought a house in the same development of their L.A. base so [he and Angelina] do not have to sleep under the same roof on the rare occasions when they are both in town.
When they stay in hotels — and much of their lives is spent in them, as they both continue to work on movie sets — they sleep in separate bedrooms, with her in the main suite and him in a bedroom next to their children.
A hotel worker who liaised with the couple at their recent stays at the Waldorf Astoria in New York said, “I didn’t see any kind of connection between Pitt and Jolie. I’ve seen no family dinners, no movie nights, no dinners for the two of them alone. He just sits by himself texting on his phone for hours,” [adding] that when they did go out, it was usually a stage-managed event to counteract rumors of problems in their relationship.
“It’s always a big production,’ she said. ‘It’s all orchestrated down to [the very last detail].’
Doesn’t anybody believe in true love anymore? I just don’t see how anyone could think that a relationship spawned by an adulterous affair with a married man that resulted in a passel of illegitimate children could be anything other than perfect. Next you’ll be telling me that Tittilina in “Airtight Grannies: Cum One, Cum All” didn’t really love General Genital or any of his 1,000 men. I mean, she swallowed and everything. Good luck convincing us true romantics otherwise!
Colonel Sanders and Angie’s big night on the town earlier this month:
PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News Online
These two deserve the limelight for so much and yet it comes for this? Well at least they are once again in the public’s consciousness.
I could gush over Angelina Jolie all day long, particularly her (naked) role as Grendel’s Mother in Beowulf (2007). Hero’s Journey Joseph Campbell understood that Beowulf was a paradigm for the epic heroic mythos and what mythos means to the comprehension of greater humanity.
That these two are cerebral is a gross understatement of the obvious. Hello? Duh!!! Brad Pitt’s excursion into the abstraction of temporal anomalies, such as in his lead acting role in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008), and as executive producer of The Time Traveler’s Wife (2009), underscores his powerful thinking.
In fact, The Time Traveler’s Wife begs a sequal, particularly because a protagonist preteen Alba transports always naked through time and has no less a challenge than did her father in finding clothes immediately, upon arrival, in order to blend in.
In an era in which naked little girls are ostensibly the greatest single terror known to man, such a story might rival all of the great epic Classics heretofore. In this day and age, it would certainly require epic heroic balls to put that on the screen.