In the worst career move she’s made since marrying Kevin Federline, a pitifully disheveled and out-of-shape Britney Spears shaved herself bald Friday night. TMZ reports:
After checking herself out of rehab and slumming it in coach back to L.A., Brit stopped at a salon and asked them to shave her head. When the hairdresser refused, Spears “grabbed the hair clipper and started doing it herself.” Then she jetted over to Body & Soul Tattoo in Sherman Oaks, where [an] employee says the singer was agitated and a “nightmare” to deal with. When asked about her new ‘do, an exasperated Britney [said], “I don’t want anyone touching me. I’m tired of everyone touching me.” The employee noticed a stain on the singer’s white handbag, and Brit explained she had “spilled Nyquil all over it.” The employee says it was clear [she] was “on the verge of a nervous breakdown.”
Additionally, UBritney claims the following is a statement from Larry Rudolph, Britney’s manager:
“Britney has been through a tragic thing that hopefully will never happen again, shaving her hair was a sort of therapeutic thing for her. Britney knows that she needs help and is already going through counselling, she knows what needs to be done and is slowly re-building herself step by step.”
Well, I guess since her bald beaver was met with such rave reviews, she figured she go ahead and try her luck with her head. And by “rave reviews” I of course meant “widespread mockery and bemused disgust.” Everybody knows that lightning never strikes twice. If anything, it strikes once, then suckerpunches you in the kidneys and gives your rear end a bit of a “how’s your father.” Do you see my point here? It’s pretty obvious that Britney Spears needs to be anally raped with lightning. Fuckin’ circle of life, man. It just makes sense.
Lots more of Baldy McGee after the jump.