Britney Spears’ Femme Fatale tour is supposed to kick off in June, but it seems there’s a little kink in the program, because her opening act just pulled out. If only the other men in her life had pulled out, too. High five! The Daily Mail says:

Live Nation, who is promoting the show, sent out a media advisory stating: ‘Enrique Iglesias is no longer on this tour.’

No reason was given for the singer’s abrupt change of heart, which came shortly after Britney gave her first live TV performance in two years in a bid to drum up interest in the tour.

According to music industry bible Billboard Iglesias was slated to be much more than a standard opening act and was slated to carry full production on the Spears tour.

Honestly, I don’t give a shit about this, and neither do you. What’s important here is that Britney went on Jimmy Kimmel last night and let the boys from Jackass strap her into a port-a-potty and launch it into the stratosphere with the help of giant bungee cords. Or as it’s known among the cognoscenti, a “poo cocktail.” It seems an apropos way to promote her new album, given that listening to it is the auditory equivalent of being trapped in a tiny prison and repeatedly pelted with feces.

Photoshopped beyond belief in Out magazine: