Brooke Hogan doesn’t understand all the hoopla over the photos of her dad, 54-year old Hulk Hogan, rubbing tanning oil on her ass on a family vacation. Brooke told Us Weekly
“I know I’m a grown woman, but it’s like [Dad's] touching an old car. He used to change my diaper!”
And if that wasn’t disturbing enough — Daddy also likes to be on hand while she’s posing provocatively for shitty men’s magazines. According to Fox News
Hulk Hogan turned up to [Brooke's] sexy magazine shoot for Maxim in April. [He said] that he came to supervise and ensure his baby girl didn’t flash too much flesh.
I can only think of a couple of instances where your father would need to touch your ass once you’ve entered adulthood. Ten instances, in fact. I made a handy list for you:
TOP TEN SITUATIONS IN WHICH YOUR FATHER TOUCHING YOUR BUTT IS OKAY
10. You impaled yourself on an umbrella stand while at a Father-Daughter’s Day Picnic
9. You’ve passed out, and it’s the only part of you not covered in vomit and urine
8. There’s a bomb taped to your ass that requires dismantling before it can be safely removed
7. A genie offers to cure your mother’s cancer only if your Dad touches your ass
6. You’re the second tier and your father’s the base in a cheerleading pyramid
5. Father-Daughter ice-skating doubles competition
3. He’s legally blind and thought he was touching your face
2. There’s a horsefly the size of a kaiser roll on your ass and it’s going to bite you
and the number one situation in which it would be okay for your dad to touch your butt:
1. Johnny Depp is your father. Rowr!