Brooke Mueller hasn’t been seen or heard from in the last 24 hours, except for the times when she hit up her friends for clean piss and tried to pawn a stereo and one of ex-husband Charlie Sheen’s old watches for cash. Clearly, she’s well on her way to winning. Radar Online says:

It started with frantic calls to friends for drug-free urine, continued with a failed attempt to hock an expensive watch in a sleazy Inglewood pawn shop — and it ended with friends believing Mueller is hitting rock bottom.

Mueller is believed to have attempted to pawn one of Sheen’s expensive time pieces – even though she gets $55,000 a month from the former Two and a Half Men actor.

[No one has been able to reach her since] Wednesday… [when she] missed a red carpet event in Hollywood.

“Brooke seems depressed,” the friend said. “We’re worried for her safety.”

There are exactly three places you can find yourself that will guarantee your life is in the shitter: 1) the back of a cop car; 2) onstage at a strip club; or 3) a pawn shop. I have a feeling Brooke will have hit all three by the time I’m done posting this. Hat trick, baby!

Lunching with Paris Hilton (okay, so maybe there’s four):

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures