One thing you’ll never find in my closet: anything peplum. I absolutely hate it. I think it’s stupid and frumpy and only works if you’re a wicked stepsister in a Disney movie. But what the hell do I know, I don’t play pretend for a living. If Hollywood says you should wear it, you probably should!

Believe it or not, this peplum dress from Rare is even whorier than the one Eva Longoria’s wearing. And science said it couldn’t be done! (More celeb peplummery after the jump.)

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News

Kristin Davis‘s covered buttons make her look like a 55-year-old doctor’s wife at a garden party in the Hamptons. This dress from Trina Turk, however, does not.

If you like the corset feel of Christina Milian’s dress, this dress from Renee London might do it for you.

Kim Kardashian’s Lanvin dress is almost four grand, so I hope you have a sex tape your mom can help you sell to Vivid Entertainment.

Elle McPherson is wearing Victoria Beckham’s signature line, but you can do a more affordable version in white with this dress from Top Shop. You’re still never going to look as good as Elle McPherson, though.