Denise Richards hit the talk show circuits earlier this week and denied that she had ever asked ex-husband Charlie Sheen for a post-divorce sperm sample, adding that “any email Charlie claims to have suggesting otherwise is a fake.” Charlie responded to her unsavory allegations in kind by mass-faxing a copy of the email in question to every media outlet in the Western Hemisphere. Rush and Molloy obtained their own copy courtesy of Chuck, and it reads as follows:
“Dear Brooke [Charlie's new fiance],
I don’t want to have a baby with Charlie. I am having a baby in the next year. By myself … my girlfriend suggested Charlie be the donor. So, I did bring this up to him. There are so many couples having unhealthy children. Charlie and I have very beautiful healthy children together. I was strictly looking for a sperm donor, if it’s any of your business. If it were him, I said we would sign a document that he couldn’t come after me and I couldn’t come after him … this wasn’t to have sex with him, it was him donating … that’s it. “
Jesus, all this fuss over a couple of tablespoons of freakin’ spooge. A thinking woman would have paid Lupe the Bunny Ranch housekeeper twenty dollars American to take a putty knife to the walls in the Jungle Room and collect the scrapings in a mayonnaise jar full of 2.5X Buffer/random octamer mix. Of course, nobody’s ever actually accused Denise Richards of being a “thinking woman.” Therein lies the rub.
On TRL yesterday:
It should be noted, Denise, that the mouth is not the best place to transport semen.
Nor the anus. Per my doctor’s instruction, anyways.
And I’d add not the front of your dress either, unless of course you plan on taking out the president.
Another one whose smoldering 90′s hotness has burnt out. So sad.
Save me from ugly, Swayze.
I wish these babes would stop painting the lips OUTSIDE the lipline – it DOESN’T look like fuller lips – it just looks like a little girl trying on mommy’s makeup!