Two years ago, I dressed up as Mystique from X-Men for Halloween. It was the most kick-ass costume ever. I had a bright red wig, yellow contacts, and a blue swimsuit I hand-decorated with blue scales. It took me two and a half hours and almost four bottles of body paint to get ready. Even then, I only had on half as much makeup as Christina Aguilera in the above picture. If Homer Simpson’s makeup gun ever had a “seek and destroy” setting, you’re fucking looking at it right here.
Editor’s note: Ever wondered what a post-op tranny’s tits might look like after a grease fire? Wonder no more!!
More of Frankentits at Luxor’s LAX Nightclub Friday night: