Lindsay Lohan will be formally charged with lying to police officers about that semi she rear-ended back in June, but not for all the prescription pills cops found strewn about the trunk of her rented Porsche. TMZ says:

The case will be filed as a misdemeanor by the Santa Monica City Attorney … possibly this week.

Law enforcement sources tell us cops found prescription pills in her purse after the crash. Witnesses tell us pills were also scattered in her trunk. Our sources say authorities were prepared to charge LiLo with drug crimes, but Lindsay’s lawyer, Shawn Holley, gave cops documentations from Lindsay’s doctor, saying the pills were properly prescribed. Authorities then backed off that charge.

The criminal filing is supposedly a big deal for Lindsay, because it technically constitutes a probation violation, giving Judge Stephanie Sautner license to throw her back in jail. Except we all know that’s not gonna happen. In fact, it enrages me to even mention it as a possibility, that’s how much I know it’s not gonna happen. So instead, let’s focus on the real question at hand — why do bad things keep happening to Lindsay Lohan? Answer: police conspiracy (and possibly negativity generated by Hurricane Sally)! TMZ says:

Lindsay Lohan is telling friends … cops are on such a vendetta to bring her down.

Lindsay still claims she wasn’t driving, [despite] witnesses’ [claims that] she was behind the wheel of the car [when it crashed].

Good luck convincing me that the woman in the fur hat is Lindsay Lohan. I think I know Clay Aiken in drag when I see him. I don’t know if that’s more insulting to her, or to Clay Aiken. So long as someone’s insulted here, I’ve done my job.

Get a real fur hat here from Rachel Zoe, but if you don’t have nine hundred dollars to spend on fox fur, this fur hat from Pieces is a bargain at under twenty dollars.