They say that everybody has a twin out there somewhere — mine is Angelina Jolie (obviously), and Heidi Montag’s is Courtney Stodden, the aspiring 16-year old “singer” pictured above with her 51-year-old Green Mile actor husband, Doug Hutchison. That’s nearly a three and a half decade difference, for those of you not so hot with math. The Daily Mail says:

While many parents may be horrified at the dramatic age gap, Courtney’s mother and father have actually given it all their backing. Courtney’s father, Alex Stodden, who at 47 is four years younger that his son-in-law, gushed about the new addition to the family.

Mrs Stodden said: ‘They are very much in love and we are so supportive of this. Courtney was a virgin when she married Doug. She is a good Christian girl.’

Looking well beyond 16, it appears that Courtney has possibly gone under the knife to obtain her more ‘mature’ looks, but her mother denies this.

She said: ‘She is a beautiful girl. She has real breasts, real lips, she’s not plastic.’

If that girl is actually 16 years old and those DD’s turn out to be real, I will eat my fucking hat. But first I’d have to go buy a hat, because really, who the fuck wears a hat? Black women on their way to church and Sigma Chi pledges? Korean rice farmers? Lazy Mexican mice? Buying a hat is really more of a question of socio-political allegiance than it is fashion statement. It’s probably best that those tits are totally fake, then.

Her most recent single “Don’t Put it on Me” below; another Stodden masterpiece after the jump: