I was scanning the headlines this morning for celebrity DUI’s and upskirts and happened across this super-disturbing story about a three-year-old boy (photo here) who “absorbed” his partially-developed twin brother in utero — and still has the fetus in his abdomen. The twin apparently had eyes and hair and bones, but no organs. It’s like a goddamn Stephen King book or something. The Daily Mail says:

Surgeons were today preparing to operate on a three-year-old boy to remove the body of a ‘parasitic twin’ growing inside his stomach.

Isbac Pacunda was left with the rare condition after absorbing his would-be sibling inside the womb.

Doctors in Peru say the partially formed fetus has eyes, bones and hair on the cranium, but did not develop a brain, lungs, heart or intestines.

It weighs a pound and a half and is nine inches long.

A neonatologist at Rainbow Babies and Children’s Hospital in Cleveland said conjoined twins [cannot survive] when one twin absorbs the other.

Thinking that there could be an undead sibling lodged inside you is terrifying. Of course, it’s terrifying any time you find a lump somewhere on your body, but I’d still rather it’d be a cancerous tumor than what’s left of my organ-less twin sister. They only thing that can shake off that kind of creepy is more sexy outtakes from Ashley Greene’s Men’s Fitness photo shoot. Luckily, I came prepared.