38-year-old mother-of-four Heidi Klum gets naked for next month’s Allure, claiming never have succumbed to the lure of a surgeon’s knife. She tells the magazine:

“I’m proud to be able to say, in this day and age, I haven’t done anything. Everyone has a view of what’s not pretty and [plastic surgery] just doesn’t look pretty to me. Especially when I see it on really young girls.

I don’t want to name names, but it’s like, wow, I remember you five years ago, looking to me so beautiful, and now it’s like … who is this person? And I know girls half my age who do it. What are they gonna do at 40 or 50, when the shit really hits the fan?”

I can tell you exactly what they’re gonna do at 40 or 50 “when the shit hits the fan” and the slow wilt of age and gravity sets in — it’s called “mood elevators” and “wine.” Luckily, I’ve already gotten a preemptive head start on both. Not to mention all that human growth hormone I ordered off the internet!