Good news for all my Jack Bauer fans out there — Kiefer Sutherland won’t be going to jail for assaulting Proenza Schouler designer Jack McCollough at the Met’s Costume Institute Gala Tuesday night, even though he’s currently on probation stemming from his 2007 DUI arrest. According to the NY Daily News
Sutherland will be charged with third-degree assault for the attack on designer Jack McCollough [and] will be issued a desk appearance ticket for the misdemeanor – meaning he won’t be jailed and will be free to travel before he’s arraigned.
Jail, no jail — whatever. I don’t think any of that really matters. What’s important here is that I would let Jack Bauer pound my ass like a Chinaman laying railroad ties. The end.
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