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Jada Pinkett-Smith Has Ruined Her Face

Jada Pinkett and Will Smith made a public appearance at the premiere of “Free Angela and All Political Prisoners” in New York last night after she sort-of confirmed the long-standing rumor that she and Will have an “open marriage.” Us Magazine says:

The 41-year-old [told the Huffington Post] of the “persistent” rumor: “I think that people get that idea because Will and I are very relaxed with one another. But I’ve always told Will: You can do whatever you want as long as you can look at yourself in the mirror and be okay,” she said, without going into further specifics.

“Because at the end of the day, Will is his own man… I’m here as his partner, but he is his own man. He has to decide who he wants to be and that’s not for me to do for him. Or vice versa.”

Enough about her stupid open marriage already. What’s going on with her face?! Is that Jada Pinkett-Smith, or the changeling that tried to assassinate Senator Amidala in Episode II? Where are her external ovapods? Are those cheek implants, or venom sacs? And more importantly, is this really happening, or am I trapped in a simulated reality that’s being projected into my mind by sentient machines? I think we can all agree, peyote really raises a lot more questions than it answers.